#poor ren has no idea doc left

[cryyon]

hello hellooo Posts are going to be more limited because of college!! I’m also working on a few things for this au in the background. like what characters are going to be in it and their alliances n powers n everything. I also don’t have the same brainrot over this au as I did, but don’t worry!! im still going to be working on this but i wont be churning out a bunch of art per post. SO. Ren!! He’s a hero but he has a reason for attacking The Inventor (mumbo). Its a revenge moment. Basically he believes Doc died in an explosion that the Inventor set up, because doc and ren were very close friends. Hes still very bubbly and a pretty good person, no red king murdery vibe with him, however, hes a biiit more vengeful. Hes got super strength and loves carrying around his friends. He’s one of the Original Heroes when the Hermitopia Hero Agency was founded. Also i feel like i should mention that even though only a few characters are villains or heroes or vigilantes or whatever, they’re not the only ones of that particular group, they’re just the non original characters im using and focusing on at least some. And if there aren’t characters that i use its not because i dont like the characters or CCs it’s because there are so many characters im trying to fit in. And im not working with just the hermitcraft characters im also using characters from empiresSMP.

[volturiprincess]

Háblame De Ti

:tell me about you:

Demetri Volturi x Fem human reader

Summary: The way he looks at you when you talk A/N: This one was inspired by the song "Hablame de ti" by Banda MS. I connected two and two when I was driving to the beach and this song went on and I was like "Omg this is giving Demetri vibes, write it down Mj (me)". I swear this happens to me to often, ideas for one-shots just randomly come to mind and I quickly pull out "notes" on my phone if I'm not on my computer and later transfer that idea do my doc and write out a whole brainstorm or just start writing right away. Anyways......Enjoy💙 (Ps. I might or might of now of added my other fictional lovers on here🤭)

Word Count: 1k+

(What a lovely man. I love his little smile here🥰)

“Your not going to believe who Kelsey ended up with”

“Tell me”

I crossed my legs to get more comfy. Me and Demetri are in the outskirts of Volterra in a small clearing of grass that we go to when the weather is nice. With it already being  summer, and the sun beating down on us, Demetri’s gorgeous sparkle comes through. Oh how I can stare at him all day long and try to count every individual little diamond that seems to be on his face. To just admire his beauty and not be interrupted by others, to not have to worry about anything but him alone. His state right is laying on his stomach with his head resting on his head, and his feet basically kicked up, swaying side to side. He seems so relaxed and he’s giving me his undivided attention at the same time.

“She ended up with Ren”

“No way”

“Exactly, and poor Kishan was left behind, can you believe how devastated I was how he was just left behind in time. I so wanted to reach into the book and pull him out”

“And what would you do with him if that were possible”

“Well give him his happily ever after of course my man has suffered to much”

“Your man? What am I some side chick now?”

“Demetri you will always be my main, Kishan would be my side I guess”

“No I don't like that, no side chicks or whatever you just have me”

“Fine, so I can't even have Moony or Padfoot either?”

“Nope”

“What about Nanami, please let me at least have him”

“I'll think about it, but tell me more about what happened after they left Kishan”

I continued with my ramble of the book I finished. When I talk about books with him he lets me go off and does not interrupt unless he has a question. Even when I fear I have talked to much or I bored him, I look at him and he’s still looking at me with anticipation for me to continue 

Third Person

A thing that y/n didn't realize about Demetri was how he looks at her. When they are out in their spot at this time of the year, Demetri sees a whole new side of her. He just sits or lays there looking at her like she is the only breathing soul on this earth. If it were possible his pupils would form into little hearts because that is all he sees when he looks at her, hearts. He has the purest of adoration for her; if someone were to watch them for a distance, they would assume Demetri is under a love spell from how he watches her. He's so smitten with her it's almost as if it's too good to be true, it seems too much like a fairytale. And to them it does feel like it, their alone time is their little bubble of paradise. Just them against the world, no vampire or human in sight, even the animals seem to leave them alone. 

Demetri and y/n or y/n or Demetri, bounded for eternity, how it should be according to them. Just them two, even if currently one is immortal and another is mortal, they just click. The minute they meet, life just makes sense for them at that moment. When he moves, she moves, she wanders and he follows her around. Or he will gently guide her back to their initial journey since his lovely mate tends to get distracted with little things.

Oooo what a pretty flower, oh my what an interesting looking tree, how is that possible for it to bend like that? Demetri look a family of little bunnies, can I take them home?

Those are just superficial questions and thoughts she will have when she wanders but Demetri loves every little quirk she carries, even the one where sometimes she hides herself from him when he catches her moving with the wind. 

“You were not supposed to see that”

“Well i'm glad I did because now I can join you, care to share a dance cariño?” 

Demetri’s POV

What a beauty of a human she is. She’s a rare jewel that can never be dared to be duplicated or even have the audacity to be recreated. No one will even come close to being like her because she is one in a million. The way she can talk to me for hours without stopping warms my heart for it being she trusts me enough to say whatever is on her mind. Her voice, the voice of an angel indeed. How can someone like her even exist? I sometimes fear I'm in a dream with her, I just can never fully believe she is my mate. She was made for me, she’s everything I have ever wanted but at the same time something I never knew I needed. If I were to sketch out what I believe my mate would have looked like, it would have looked like her. 

I never pictured myself finding my mate in this lifetime or ever, but when she came into my life, I was enamored of the idea of her. All of the heartache I harbored within the past vanished to be replaced by an overwhelming feeling of devotion and infatuation dedicated just for her. 

I deeply value my alone time with her, it's our time to be with each other without any interruption or worry of some duty I need to do. Even if my mind is racing with a million thoughts revolving around her, I catch every single word that comes from her pretty little mouth. At last I think I might have gotten a bit too deep in my love for her because she is staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“I said why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Well your looking at me all weird”

“Can’t a vampire stare at his mate with love?”

And my oh my, that lovely blush of her’s starts to bloom on her lovely face. It saddens me to think what when the day comes for her to become like me, her blush will be no more. I will miss it but it excites me that we will officially have forever. 

Still blushing she responds with a small stutter “W-well you can, n-no judgment, but were you paying attention?”

“Of course my angel, you just said that Ren and Kelsey got married”

She nodded and proceeded to keep talking about the book. So adorable when she doubts me, I am always listening to her. There are times where she sleep talks sometimes and I manage to her say that she loves me so much. It gave me a warm feeling within to think she loves me as much as I love her, well actually I think I love her more. But why tell her that? When I have to be away from her due to missions or training, I am aching to be in her arms as soon as I leave. To be in her warm embrace, to have my face filled with her lips giving me multiple small kisses, to seeing her smile when she sees me. 

If only she knew the deep effect she has on me, I only mentioned slight things but soon enough she will know. If I were to tell her my deeper feelings, I don't think her mind would be able to comprehend it, my love for her is intense, so strong and raw. Sometimes it does scare me in how much I love her. 

Y/N POV

“I'm still mad about it, you know? Like you have no idea how much I cried”

“I know cariño, I was there wiping your tears away all night”

“That you were, I'm so lucky to have you my love”

“I know i'm just the best you know”

I slap his shoulder playfully at his exaggerated cockiness. He can be such a goofball sometimes and I love that about him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

Cariño: Dear

[mar-im-o]

Strangely He Feels at Home in this Place (chapter one)

Ren has DID, Doc has no clue. The two are stuck in a ship together for two months. What could go wrong?

The space between worlds is truly a depressing thing, and as Doc lets his gaze cast out into the hollow nothingness of the between-server-worlds, he can’t help but feel disgusted at the sight. His stomach turns as he watches a void encase them, and if he were a lesser man he’d argue he felt trapped. If he were a lesser man he’d admit the dull thrumming in his chest is an aching for the season left behind, regret at having abandoned it so soon.

Soon.

As if the season wasn’t long enough. As if they hadn’t lived through wars and disease and the rise and fall of great builds and tales and legends. As if, in the end, the players hadn’t fizzled out one by one. As if they hadn’t all gotten bored of it.

But as they settle in the In Between and wait restlessly for a future world woven together by an admin’s fingers, Doc wants it back. He wishes, more than anything, for solid ground beneath his feet. A destination. Stability.

Or, at the least, he wishes he hadn’t chosen to ride with Ren to the new world.

Chosen. Doc laughs hollowly to himself as he fixates on a speck of the void floating by their window. Chosen is too kind of a word for it. Perhaps more appropriate is “bound by social standards he’s been told means he should look out for his friends even if it’s to his own disadvantage.”

Altruism. Bleh .

And Ren had been fine for the most part. Dizzy. Confused. Not quite sure where he was or what he was doing, panicked and injured and all around unwell. He asked what day it was. Doc told him the final day of the server. Asked if Ren had a ride. Ren sat for a long, long moment, gaze distant and fuzzy before announcing he would be driving himself.

And, well, Doc wasn't sure that was the best idea.

And, truthfully, he may have left Ren to his own poor judgements if some semblance of a conscience hadn’t chosen that moment to consider how panicked the rest of the Hermits would be if Ren were lost to the infinite expanse of the void. So, reluctantly, Doc offered to cancel his plans and escort Ren into the new season. It would be a day at most, Doc assumed. A day turned to two. Two to five. Xisuma used what little signal they all had to send some apologies. It’d be a week at most. Maybe a week and a half.

And two weeks in, Doc’s certain he’s in purgatory.

“It’s just not the smartest plan, man,” Ren is saying, chin tilted back as he stares aimlessly at the roof of the ship, a familiar smile frozen there as he rambles on.

And on.

And on.

Continue reading here on AO3

[martuzzio]

The idea of Ren joining the Amputees-Only club sounds so bittersweet... cuz before he knew they were having fun, but also knew that they were allowed to have a bond like that. He never expected to join them.

I can honestly imagine in his first few meetings there's a few times where Ren just cries, poor guy...

Rendog's first Amputee's Only Club Meeting (written under the cut because this one is longer than normal)

Despite what the universe seems to think, Doc is a pretty easygoing guy. Yes, he does look scary as hell and yes, he was a mob boss at one point, but that doesn’t mean he’s a violent person. Well, he’s violent when he needs to be, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it. In reality, his favorite moments are all from quiet parts of his normal, boring, daily life as a hermit.

In these everyday moments, Doc likes to process things. He likes to sit in the greenhouse and watch the bio bees work alongside the robot bees. He likes to brush his fingers on the plants and let his half-robotic brain process the data into something that resembles touch. He likes to listen to Grian and Etho chat as they work.

He observes small moments like these because that’s all he really does. He takes in data and processes it. He uses the processed information to judge his surroundings and react accordingly. Sometimes this means that he uses his data to laugh at his friends who make dumb jokes. But sometimes he uses the data to run, hide, or fight back. When all you do is process data to keep yourself alive, it becomes very hard to ignore incoming information.

This is how Doc eventually locates Ren. He wasn’t planning on finding where his longtime friend wheeled off to, much less go searching for him, but Doc unfortunately decided to take a more leisurely route to the bridge and his camera eye caught the slight movement anyway. Doc has to give it to him; the man knows how to hide. The werewolf is in a lesser-used community room, curled into a dusty couch that’s been shoved into the corner. The chrome wheels of his temporary mobility aid reflect off of the window overlooking deep space. Ren has his left leg drawn up to this chest. His stump of a right leg rests on the couch cushion, shunned. Ren’s obviously hid because he doesn’t want to be found, but unluckily for him, Doc was specifically altered to notice things.

Ren’s flinch when Doc claps his hand on his shoulder is almost unnoticeable. Ren looks like he’s either been crying or had a bad allergic reaction to the dust. Doc assumes the former.

“Cub was working on your new parts earlier today. They look pretty sick,” he ventures.

Ren looks like he has the entire universe on his shoulders. “That’s wonderful,” he mumbles. He opens his mouth as if to say more, but instead sighs and slides his eyes shut.

Doc plops down on the couch and slings his arm over the back of the rest. The action makes Ren recoil again, this time more visibly, and Doc pointedly ignores it. Instead, he says, “As much as I want you to come see what Cub is making, you will go to him when you feel like it. There is nothing you need to do right now besides heal.”

Ren barks out a wet laugh. “Bro, I appreciate you so much, but how can stumps heal?”

Doc’s cybernetic hand twitches in sympathy. “You know what I mean, man, and we both know it.” Doc replies. He looks down at the sliver of space between his leg and Ren’s and chews his words. Ren shifts his gaze to Doc’s arm, then to gaze directly at the creeper’s face.

Doc feels uncomfortable in a way he’s never felt before. All of the other amputee hermits were already amputees when they joined the crew. They had time to heal, be angry, and let go in their own ways. He did, too. But now, with Ren sitting next to him, suffering through the same kind of anguish Doc felt when he first woke up from being operated on, Doc suddenly doesn’t know how to act. How do you comfort someone who literally lost a third of their body? As much as Doc knows what that feels like and as much as he wants to help his friend, he might not be able to. He might not ever be able to.

It’s the single most heartbreaking thing that Doc’s realized in a long, long time.

This revelation causes the duo to sit in silence for a long while. Then, Doc gets an idea. His eye shifts to look at his friend. Ren narrows his eyes tiredly but waits anyway.

“The Amputees-Only Club meeting is in a few minutes.” Doc murmurs. Ren is silent, but he plows on. “I think you should come,” he pleads. “I think everyone would be very happy to see you.”

Ren’s throat clicks as he swallows. “I’m sure they would.”

“I would be very happy to see you.”

Ren’s eyelids squeeze together. “I know you would.”

“Then let’s go,” Doc insists as he pushes himself to his feet. He turns around and smiles as much as he can at his friend, still curled up on the couch. Ren gazes exhaustedly back. “I think it would be a good idea.” He wishes his smile weren’t so frightening.

Ren moves to rub his eyes with his hands but remembers he’s missing one of his arms a little too late. The resulting crumpled expression immediately burns into Doc’s deep storage memory. “I don’t know, Doc.” The werewolf manages after a long moment. “I appreciate you trying to help, but…”

Doc understands. Of course he does. When he first joined the hermits, the idea of a weekly club meeting exclusively for amputees sounded farfetched at best and belittling at worst. Hell, he didn’t even think there were enough amputees on the team to warrant a club. Imagine his surprise when three other people showed up to his first session, all excited he was there to hang out with them.

With this in mind, all he can do is repeat, “I think it would be a good idea.”

Ren stares up at him, and in that moment, he looks as old as Xisuma. But then he gently closes his eyes, inhales slowly and shallowly, and motions for Doc to drag his mobility aid closer. Doc complies immediately.

The journey to the meeting room, like every other journey on the Hermit Craft, is long. It’s made even longer because of Ren’s inexperience with his aid, but Doc doesn’t dare to offer his help. They eventually end up in front of the elevator that Doc remotely called beforehand with his brain chip. When the doors open, Doc lets Ren wheel in first.

Ren is silent in the elevator. Doc tries to catch his expression, but his friend’s unruly hair blocks his vision. “We’re playing cards tonight.” He mentions.

“That’s what you do at every Amputee-Only Club meeting.”

Doc shifts his eye back to the elevator door. “…Correct.”

Ren doesn’t reply.

When the duo finally reaches the Club meeting room, Doc pauses outside for a moment instead of directing his brain to open the door like normal. He glances down at Ren again and murmurs, “if you don’t want to go back, or to your room or something, that’s—”

“It’s fine,” Ren interrupts. He sounds defeated. “We walked all the way here, so we may as well go.”

Doc activates the door without another thought.

The door slides open and reveals the club room. It’s small, smaller than the average community space on the Hermit Craft, but it feels warm. The soft yellow color painted on the walls matches pleasantly with the yellow of the couch cushions. Joe definitely was the one to orchestrate that. There’s a small kitchenette in the corner that’s set up to have nice views of outer space. Various game tables fill the rest of the room, a few surrounded by five chairs. Doc wonders if Ren will notice the new chair addition. Maybe he already had.

The most interesting part of the space, though, is the people within it. TFC is bundled up on the couch, snoring pleasantly and covered in at least ten blankets. His usual plate of cookies is already half eaten. Iskall is standing at the kitchen counter, fiddling with a teacup filled with a mysterious bright pink liquid. His outfit has a few suspicious-looking singe marks at the hem. Finally, Scar is sat at the poker table in the middle of the room, crossed legs resting on an adjacent chair. He’s sorting through a pile of yellow and orange chips. To Doc’s continued wonder, the stack of bright blue cards resting near Scar’s elbow have miraculously not been knocked onto the floor yet.

When the doors open, Scar and Iskall look over. Ren immediately shifts at Doc’s elbow. Doc waits a moment to let Ren speak if he wants to, but when his shorter friend remains silent, he clears his throat in a grinding noise and announces, unnecessarily, “We’re here.”

Scar is so excited that his eyes have turned into little slivers of green. “Ren, I’m so happy you decided to tag along!” He kicks one of the chairs out from the table and clonks his foot on it for emphasis. The blue cards wobble on the edge of the table but still refuse to fall. “Sit down! Iskall can get you something to drink. Have you ever played poker?” He leans forward with the question. “It’s difficult, but I think it’s fun!”

“Uh, I haven’t.” Ren replies awkwardly, still at the door alongside Doc. “I’ve never even heard of it before.”

“Yeah, I would be surprised if you knew about it. It’s one of those old-timey games from TFC’s era.” Iskall says from across the room. He is now by the couch and is gently patting TFC’s fluffy hair to wake him. “Don’t worry that you don’t know. We’ll teach you.”

Ren tries and fails to make a pointed noise of interest, but he still seems intrigued. Doc feels the knot in his chest loosen a little. He rolls his shoulders to relieve some tension and moves to sit down. By the time he turns his head to look back, Ren is already wheeling forward to join him but looks lost as to where he should sit.

“Howdy, Ren. Sit next to me so I can teach you, but I’ll only teach if you’re willing to listen.” TFC, now awake, grumbles good-naturedly as he heaves himself off the couch. With his large frame still wrapped in a dozen blankets, he looks like a huge bear compared to Iskall. Which is impressive, Doc thinks, since Iskall is nowhere near frail. TFC’s metal prosthetic clonks on the floor as he walks over to the poker table. As he sits down across from Scar, he says, “There’s no point in just sitting there and gawking at us. Grab a seat.” He uses his leg to nudge the chair to his left.

Ren blinks and maneuvers his aid to let him sit down next to the astronaut. TFC procures a blanket from his pile and offers one to him. Ren, after slowly settling in his chair, accepts the pink fuzzy blanket. Doc accepts a purple one.

TFC lances over to Ren as he saves the blue cards from the edge of the table. “Poker’s good fun. You’ll get it in no time.” He snorts and flicks his gaze to Scar, who is busy stacking the chips into a pyramid. “This one always makes sure we have a great, long game.”

Scar looks up and winces minutely in a false apology. “Sorry about that.”

TFC chuckles. “Boy, I’ve never had better games than when I play with you.”

Scar’s grin almost sparkles. TFC and Doc grin back and Iskall hides his laugh in his shoulder.

“Anyway, ready for your first game with us amputees?” TFC brings the conversation back to Ren, who suddenly looks a lot more uncomfortable.

“I,” he begins, his eyes flicking to TFC, then Doc, before looking down. “I, well, uh…”

The table is silent. Iskall is staring at the table with his hands in his lap. TFC sighs and begins shuffling the cards. Doc, as much as he wants to clear the air somehow, can’t seem to find a way to do so. Scar just looks sad. He looks right at Ren, almost through him.

Ren stares back, eyes wide.

“You don’t want to be here.” Scar says quietly, finally. It’s not a question. Ren’s choked response makes the ex-convex smile slightly. “You can say so, Ren. You’re not going to hurt our feelings. None of us want to be here. But, as much as we may want to, we can’t change what happened to us.” He falls silent again as he looks at a particularly twisted scar on the back of his left hand. He rubs at it harshly with the pad of his thumb before Iskall stops him. “This might be selfish,” Scar continues, softly, “but I’m happy that I at least don’t have to sit in here alone.”

For a long moment, the table is silent. Then, with a rush of noise, Ren makes a sound like he’s dying. In a certain way, Doc thinks, he is.

“I don’t want to be here,” Ren confesses as his open mouth contorts and tears roll down his face. “I don’t want to be here.”

All Doc can do is wrap his arms around everyone else, encasing Ren and his other amputee friends in his embrace, and wish he could do more.

[ghastspidergwen]

I love @doctorsiren's dadskall au, and I thought I'd write a little fic about it. basically, the dadskall au is where xisuma and ex (alex)'s dad is doomguy, but some sort of accident/crazy magic/whatever made him and iskall share a body, go check out doctor siren for the whole story, she has great art, too!

disclaimers (you can completely ignore this section if you want): I have played about 15 minutes total of all the Doom games, read none of the books, seen none of the movies, but the ost is great, so this will probably be ooc for doomguy. xisuma and alex are more based on the featherweight au versions, not the real hermitcraft versions. this story is not part of the dadskall au nor any of dr siren's other aus, it's just a break for me to write some fluff. it takes place ~3-4 years after where fw currently is (s7 election era) but is not set in the fw au world. link to the post part of this is based on. ...and I think that's everything, onto the fic!

.

Xisuma took a deep breath, “I think dad’s alive.”

“You said you saw him die,” Alex, previously known as Evil Xisuma, said, turning to his brother, “They told me he died”

“He wasn’t exactly dead, it’s hard to explain. It’s more like...the horcruxes in Harry Potter. When dad died, I think there was some magic at play that made it so his ‘soul’ transferred into the nearest healthy, person. And I think I found them.”

“Uh-huh, and who might that be?”

“HALLO!” Iskall burst in, “What did you need me for?”

“Iskall? Seriously?”

“He was there that night and I have no reason to believe-”

“You really think Iskall-”

“It’s my best guess, everyone else was injured, and the magic had to choose the nearest healthy person, so it must be Iskall.”

“What must be Iskall?”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Iskall?”

“No, Iskall86,” Xisuma said, sarcastically, “Of course this Iskall, how many Iskalls do we know?”

“I still have no idea what we’re talking about, can -”

“No!” The void brothers turned to him and responded in sync. Xisuma pulled his brother into a side room, “Stay right there, thanks Iskall.”

“What?”

Xisuma exhaled and closed the door behind them, “Phew, OK, I have reason to believe that 13 years ago, Iskall was present the night that dad-y’know-and since everyone else there was either corrupted or injured, as the only uninjured person, dad’s spirit ended up inhabiting his body, but’s been so weak that it was only using Iskall as a means of staying alive, not influencing him or trying to take control of his body at all. Do you get me?”

“A little.”

“And I think I know the spell that will separate them, and give dad his old body back,” They went back into the main room with Iskall, “Should I do it now?”

“Blast ‘im,” Alex backed out of the room, putting a protective wall between him and the magic.

“WHAT?!”

A glowing green ball of energy swirled between Xisuma’s hands, and Iskall backed into the wall, “H-hey Xisuma, what are you doing?”

“This...shouldn’t hurt.”

Iskall held up a hand in a stop gesture, “SHOULDN’T?!”

Xisuma blasted him with the magic. Iskall glowed green, floated into the sir, then split into two people who fell down.

“I...think it...worked,” Xisuma muttered, collapsing to the floor.

Doomguy looked up, and noticed someone lying, unmoving, on the floor. His saving-people instincts kicked in, and he pulled himself over to the person. “C'mon, don’t be dead, don’t be dead,” he said, shaking them.

Someone was shaking Iskall. He sat up and opened his eyes, “Holy heck, it’s Doomguy!”

“You’re alive!” Doomguy said relieved, and pulled Iskall into a hug.

Absolutely starstruck, Iskall sat there, frozen. It’s Doomguy, I love Doom, Doomguy is right here, and he’s hugging me, it’s Doomguy! Iskall’s mind looped.

Pulling out of the hug, Iskall spotted Xisuma crumpled on the floor, “W-wait, I got-gotta check on my friend.”

Doomguy turned around, and spotted his son on the floor.

“Xisuma!” He stood up and stumbled toward him.

“Wait, you know Xisuma?”

“He’s my son. Well, your son, too. Our son.”

“Wha-”

“Short answer, I am you. You are me. We’re the same person.”

Looking at his hands, one thought crossed Iskall’s mind, I’m Doomguy. It was closely followed by “I HAVE A SON?”

“Two sons.”

“TWO SONS? And one of them is dying!” Iskall sprinted across the room and cradled Xisuma’s head, “I don’t know what to do!”

“Health potion?” Doomguy suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” Pulling a potion of healing out of his inventory, Iskall splashed it onto Xisuma. He held his breath and waited to see if it would work.

Xisuma opened his eyes. He sat up.

“Dad!” He jumped up, and buried his face in his dad’s chest plate, giving him a hug the same way he did when he was younger.

“I’m your dad, too,” Iskall said.

“You know?” Xisuma asked, breaking off the hug.

“Yeah, Doomguy told me. So give your poppa a hug,” Iskall uncrossed his arms and gave a very confused Xisuma a hug.

“Oh, OK,” Xisuma awkwardly pat Iskall’s back until he stepped away.

“Is Alex here?” Doomguy asked.

“He should be right outside, he didn’t want to be in the same room as an untested spell.”

“Wait, you didn’t test it? Then why did you cast it on me?” Iskall asked, panicked.

“How many people do we know that have another person living inside them?”

“Wels/Hels, I’m pretty sure Ren did for a while, a pregnant lady,” Iskall ticked off on his fingers.

“Different circumstances. Wels and Hels are one person, like two sides of a coin, Ren-I don’t know what happened with Grimdog or The Red King or whatever, but I definitely don’t want to mess with those, and did you just compare yourself to a pregnant woman?”

“Uhhh...nevermind.”

“You said Alex was just outside?”

“Yeah,” Xisuma pulled the door open, to reveal Alex sitting on a bench outside, drumming his fingers against the seat

“Did it work?”

“Yeah.” Stepping out of the doorway, Xisuma revealed their dad standing behind him.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Dad?”

“It’s me,” Doomguy sat next to his other son.

“Dad!” Alex hugged him, and they pulled Xisuma into the hug after a second. They sat there before the hug was interrupted by another pair of arms joining in.

“Family, together again,” Iskall sighed.

“What’s up with him?” Alex asked, glancing at Iskall.

“I’m part of the family, call me Dadskall.”

“OK...Dadskall, can we have awhile alone with our dad?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. See you later.” Iskall trudged out of the room.

“I haven’t seen you guys in forever! How long was I…”

“15 years.”

“So that would put you guys in your mid-30s, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Has anything big happened in the last 15 years?”

Alex pulled off his helmet, “Nothing too bad. I was imprisoned for a bit of it,” he glared at his brother.

Xisuma also removed his helmet, “I said I was sorry, how many times do you want me to apologize?”

“I wasn’t saying it’s your fault, I was just making the point that-”

“I get it! I was an idiot and I didn’t listen to you when you were clearly right.”

“Just like old times,” Doomguy chuckled, he examined his son’s faces, “You look so much older, like real adults. I’m so sorry I missed out on the last 15 years, I would’ve loved to see you grow up.”

“It’s not like you could do anything about it.”

“I know you would have been here if you could.”

“Also how did you guys get those scars?”

“Someone needed to keep slaying the demons after you left,” Alex shrugged.

“I angered some Watchers years ago.”

“You angered some Watchers?” Doomguy asked, standing up.

“I just realized someone was right, but it was too late to save them.”

“Darn right, I was.” Alex and Xisuma also stood up.

“I...forgot how tall you were,” Doomguy said looking, at up at Alex, who was only a few inches taller.

“Oh, yeah. Xisuma was jealous he never got this tall.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Sure,” Alex smirked.

“So, anything else new?” Their dad intervened.

“Daisy’s still alive.”

“Should’ve guessed,” he chuckled.

“Oh! You’re a grandpa!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! I adopted a guy named xB. I’ll call him over, so you can meet!”

<Xisuma> hey xb, can you come on down to my base, I’ve got something to show you

<xBcrafted> ?

<xBcrafted> yeah, be there shortly

“How did you meet this xB?”

“I was doing some exploring between seasons, looking for a good seed, when I found a small single player world. xB was alone in there. Poor kid was only 13, didn’t know where his parents were, said he had been handling himself for the last 2 or 3 years, so I took him back to Hermitcraft with me. He’s a great kid, you’ll love him.”

“Xisuma has practically adopted the entire server.”

“Server? You’re an admin?”

“We both are. I’m main admin of Hermitcraft, Alex is the backup admin.”

“I’m so sorry I missed out on all of this stuff. I really wish I could have been there for you two.”

Something thumped into the outside of the building they were in, and the door opened, “Freakin’ rockets, stupid friggin’ elytra,” xB mumbled. “Oh, hey Uncle Alex, hey, dad.”

Doomguy gasped, “I love him already!”

“Wha-”

“xB, this is our dad, Doomguy.”

“Wait, I thought he was dead.”

“Wonky magic stuff.”

“OK then. I’m xBcrafted,” xB said, offering his hand for a handshake.

Doomguy scooped him up in a hug, “Hello, xB, you can call me Grandpa Flynn, or just Grandpa, or just Flynn, I don’t care. I have a grandson!”

“Nice-to-meet-you,” xB gasped.

“Dad, I don’t think he can breath.”

“Oh, right,” Flynn released his grandson, “sorry, got a little overexcited.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Glad to be back.”

“Do you want to go meet the rest of the server? There’s just under 30 of us, total.”

“Oh, you’ll love all of them. There’s me, of course, but Hypno and Jevin and Wels and False are all set up near me, Stress and Gem are also pretty close, and Doc and Ren are just past them, and…” xB rambled as the other three grabbed their helmets.

“You ready?” Alex asked, pushing open the door.

“Let’s go, I want to meet the rest of your family.”

[rayveewrites]

pokemon and hermitcraft are my hyper fixsations, and i love love love the ather foundation, could you give more info about that au you mentioned? -arrow

Arrow, I don't think you realize what you're about to unleash.

Premise:

The Hermit Pokémon AU is... complicated. Basically, while Lusamine was going off the rails, she hit on the utterly fantastic idea of fusing humans with various pokemon to... make them more beautiful. Or something. Nobody's really sure.

The project was top-secret- Faba was aware of it, but Wicke was completely in the dark. The few scientists that were involved were strictly monitored 24/7, and were originally chosen for their extreme loyalty to the foundation. The project was dubbed Project Hermit, so even if it was heard of in passing, any outsider would be aware as to what was truly going on.

The thing was, they needed test subjects. And after some initial tests and a lot of theory, they came to the conclusion that the ideal subjects would have to be fairly malleable. Like young children.

Their first subjects are actually bought and paid for from their parents, who were either desperate or just didn't care. Of those subjects, only one was successful- a young boy who was successfully fused with a Larvitar, although he did lose both an arm, and half his face in the process.

Then one of the scientists with poor morals got a Hypno and they realized they didn't need to buy all these children! They could just kidnap them instead! Yes, this is very messed up. Thanks for noticing.

As time wore on, they managed to make the effects subtler, better controlled, although there were a few cases where there were no visible changes (XB, Mumbo), and a few where they were more drastic than expected (Iskall, Joe).

After the events of Pokemon Moon (we're going with Moon), Gladion took over the Aether Foundation. The second he found out about Project Hermit, he freaked, shut it down, and tracked down their parents to return the poor kids. He apologised personally, and made sure they had all the support they needed for their experimented-on children. Because Gladion is a half-decent human being who feels an ounce of sympathy.

-

Additional notes:

Their pokemon halves are capable of evolving! When and how this happens depends on the hermit, the circumstances, and how said pokemon evolves.

The relationships between the hermits are... complicated. They went through hell together as young kids, and forged a special kind of bond as a result- they only had each other for a long time. Some have tried to move on and forget, others are fine with their inhuman features and made peace with what happened.

The only one not sent back to his family was, of course, Doc, who was actually bought by the Aether Foundation for the sake of the experiments. Gladion didn't exactly want to send him back, because there was no way that would end well, but fortunately Professors Kukui and Burnet were willing to take him in and give him a loving home. And an arm. And Kukui's fashion sense.

Cleo was originally sent to live with her parents, but they clearly either didn't know or didn't care what to do with a half-pokemon daughter. So she did the obvious thing and basically moved in with Joe and his parents instead. They've unofficially adopted her now.

A handful of them are shinies! And by a handful I mean three. Which is frankly a lot, considering the odds.

Doc wasn't the only one left scarred by the experiments! Scar was pretty heavily injured in the process (though he didn't lose any limbs, thankfully), TFC lost a leg, Iskall lost an eye (just the one), and Xisuma was branded on the face to send a message to the other kids. X wears a helmet to hide his mutilations.

Evil X, Helsknight, and Pungence are all here! EX is Xisuma's twin, Pungence is Bdubs' younger brother, and Hels is Wels' really weird cousin.

All of them, regardless of physical appearance, are capable of learning pokemon moves. Whether or not they actually use them depends on the individual.

-

The List:

Bdubs: Tangela-> Tangrowth

Cub: Unovan Yamask -> Cofagrigus

Doc: Larvitar -> Pupitar -> Tyranitar

Etho: Froakie-> Frogadier -> Greninja

False: Honedge -> Doublade-> Aegislash

Gem: Deerling -> Sawsbuck

Scar: Skitty -> Delcatty

Grian: Rufflet-> Braviary

Hypno: Drowzee -> Hypno (low-hanging fruit, I know)

Jevin: Shiny Ditto

Impulse: Rotom

Iskall: Pawniard -> Bisharp

Joe: Mimikyu

Keralis: Stakataka

Mumbo: Nosepass -> Probopass

Pearl: Swablu -> Altaria

Ren: Rockruff -> Midday Lycanroc

Stress: Oddish-> Gloom -> Bellossom

Tango: Kantonian Ponyta -> Rapidash

TFC: Drillbur -> Excadrill

Beef: Elgyem -> Beheeyem

Wels: Shiny Rookidee -> Corvisquire -> Corviknight

XB: Lillipup -> Herdier -> Stoutland (tenuous, so if anyone has any better ideas please share; I'm genuinely not sure what to do with XB)

Xisuma: Type: Null -> Silvally

Zedaph: Mareep -> Flaaffy -> Ampharos

Cleo: Shiny Cubone -> Alolan/Kantonian Marowak (A mix of the two; physically takes after the Kantonian shiny, but abilities are closer to the Alolan variant).

[mamahersh]

The Road to Hell (is Paved with Good Intentions) Chapter 5

“Season 8 was well underway, and the server’s first conflict is bubbling just under the surface. But BDoubleO can’t worry about that right now because he has an Etho to find so they can work on the Horse Course together. However when Xisuma calls a surprise server meeting on behalf of EvilXisuma, BDubs gets his answers about where Etho’s been in the worst way possible.”

(CW: angst, blood, gore, torture)

Chapter rating: M

Back to the rescue team and those left behind, focusing on BDubs and a surprise Mumbo Jumbo! (Bet you weren’t expecting Mumbo angst.) Thank you all again for your interest! As previously mentioned, if you enjoyed this, I was directly inspired by this fic over on AO3. 

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

BDubs knew it was going to be hard trying to find where Etho and EvilX were hiding, but he neglected to remember how nerve wracking it would be with the added challenge of hearing his communicator go off every time someone died. Admittedly, it had only been the two times thus far, but checking and seeing they were both Etho made him want to go insane. The only boon they had, paradoxically, was the same curse keeping Etho stuck in that hell hole: that they were able to respawn in the same place they had died in. This at least meant that their progress wouldn’t be undone at a moment’s notice because someone died and got sent to their base halfway across the map in the opposite direction they were searching. 

After he had checked his communicator to see the death message, “Ethoslab was slain by Ethoslab whilst trying to escape EvilXisuma”; BDubs decided he would stop watching chat completely. If someone died, he knew they would be fine, and he really didn’t need to know how else Etho was going to suffer till they found him. Plus, he had Doc keeping an eye on Etho for him. And he had Beef by his side, plus the Big Eye crew supporting him. He just had to keep reminding himself he wasn’t alone, it wasn’t the jungle again, he had his people with him.

“Hey BDubs, you see anything yet?” called out Tango, flying by on his own elytra. BDubs startled in the straps of his elytra, and focused more on the ground below. 

“I got nothin’!” he called back, swooping to the back of the formation the big eyes crew had made to check the area stretching from the girls’ southernmost border to the northernmost border of Cleo and Joe’s shared territory. They had decided to first fly over their assigned strip of the x coordinate line to see if there was anything obviously wrong from a bird’s eye view. After that, depending on the results from the other search teams, they would dig down in strategic intervals to be as thorough as possible. They had calculated the size of the room based on the video feed before they had left, and so they planned on digging straight down every 9 blocks along the axis. As crazy as that was, they were hoping with forteen hermits all doing it at the same time equally spaced along the line, they would be able to find Etho within an hour or two. (This all assumed that EvilX hadn’t been lying, but this was the only thing they had.)

——————————————————-

Mumbo hated every decision that had led him to this moment. He hated every decision that others have made on his behalf that had led to this moment. (That was a lie, he blamed himself completely. Even though Grian had had the idea to institute him as the CEO of Boatem, it was still his final say as to whether he would actually complete the role assigned to him. It was his decision to step up to the plate and lead them at this critical time. Everything that was happening was entirely his fault.) As he watched, horrified, Etho having to stay strong without anyone by his side; Mumbo thought he would throw up. If he didn’t faint first that was. (How pathetic of him, that he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.) He stood miserable in front of the screen, promising himself the least he could do was watch every moment Etho was without help and in pain because of him.

Beside him, Xisuma frantically typed in his admin console, seemingly trying in vain to undo whatever EvilXisuma had done to the respawn mechanics. To his other side, TFC stood stoically, seemingly unaffected by what he was witnessing, though Mumbo was sure that if he looked over, he’d be able to see the disguised pain in TFC’s eyes. Behind and a bit to the side of Xisuma was Joe, who’s pain was obvious to see, but stood strong despite it. (Mumbo wondered why Joe was here at all, till he remembered how close Joe was to Xisuma). To TFC’s other side stood Doc, who looked about one more Etho death from finding a way to crawl through the screen and detonating in EvilXisuma’s face. And to Joe’s other side stood Scar, sympathetic tears trailing down his face and holding himself in a way that Mumbo knew he did when he was particularly missing the comfort of Jellie the cat.

Mumbo watched as Etho poofed back into existence, arm that he had mangled looking noticeably more mangled than before.(Though there was something off about the restraints and his arm’s relation to them that Mumbo couldn’t place. It didn’t help the camera’s resolution wasn’t quite perfect clarity, and a bit of a wide shot, so details were a little difficult to pick out. Though it didn’t stop them from seeing the next part just fine.) Once Etho was back, EvilXisuma punched him in the face, hard enough they could see a tooth fly out of his mouth.

“You will regret that,” stated EvilXisuma, just barely loud enough to be picked up by the camera. (Mumbo knows Etho would normally have replied with something like, ‘you already said that’, but, well…)

“Any updates Xisuma?” questioned Doc, still staring intently at the screen looking for any clues as to the whereabouts of the the torture room. 

“He’s still goin’ strong Doc,” replied Joe instead, peaking over Xisuma’s shoulder to see what he was up to. “You got any new clues?”

Doc growled under his breath. “No.” He sounded bitter to Mumbo, all acid and sharp edges. 

“I can’t tell, but there’s something different about his arm I think,” said Mumbo hesitantly, nervously watching as the rest of the group stared intently up at the screen to see what he meant. 

Scar spoke up, “I think I see what you mean. His arm isn’t quite aligned correctly with the chair arm, right?”

Mumbo nodded, pointing at Etho’s arm on the screen where it seemed to almost intersect with the cuff and was bleeding profusely. “I don’t know how, like if it was just a natural consequence of trying to move his arm in that direction as he died and respawned, or if it was just a one time fluke; but he seems to have gotten his wrist intersected with the cuff on the armrest and the stake from earlier seems off center.”

As Mumbo was trying to explain, EvilXisuma had begun to focus on Etho’s fingers, and starting on the opposite hand to the one they were observing, he began to break them individually. Mumbo was selfishly happy that he didn’t have to focus on Etho’s pain for a moment as he allowed himself to fully focus on the potential puzzle in front of him.

TFC suddenly spoke up, voice coming off as gruff. “Hrm, this is good and all, but it depends entirely on EvilXisuma not noticing this little update; which we’ve done a pretty poor job at not letting him on. What with him more than likely able to hear us, and all that.” Doc muttered a quiet, “fuck” under his breath in response, and they all held their breath as they waited to see if EvilXisuma would say anything.

Instead of saying anything, he continued to methodically snap more of Etho’s fingers, causing the group to flinch in varying amounts at each wet snap. However, as Mumbo was trying to take in details not relating to Etho’s pain, he could tell that the mic was picking up EvilXisuma’s muttering. But Mumbo didn’t have the super amazing hearing that someone like Ren or Grian had; but he wondered if one of the other people in the group here had more sensitive hearing. “Anyone able to make out what he’s saying?” muttered Mumbo.

Doc hissed a quiet affirmative, and muttered back, “Yesssss, but I need to focus. Please everyone be quiet, thanks.” Everyone but Xisuma nodded back, who was too busy still trying to figure out what EvilXisuma had done to the code to notice anything else around him. 

Mumbo did his best to both suffer the consequences of his actions, while at the same time he couldn’t stand watching one of his fellow Hermits in that much pain. He could no longer distract himself, as he couldn’t make out what EvilXisuma was saying, and there were only so many times he could try to determine how many pixels on the screen related to the walls were just stone or his imagination trying to give him impossible answers. EvilXisuma had finally finished with Etho’s left hand, and he now moved to the right before he took a noticeable pause. Mumbo held his breath, hoping beyond hope that EvilXisuma somehow hadn’t noticed Etho’s weirdly placed hand. But that was an impossible wish after all.

“Well well well, how have you managed this then?” Evil Xisuma appeared to poke the part of the wrist that seemed to be poking part way out of the cuff. Mumbo couldn’t help but notice that Etho seemed so gone that he barely flinched at what should have been an incredibly painful jostle. “I’m interested in seeing how you struggle with this.” Evil X nodded at Etho. “Yes, I shall let you struggle. But we still have about 9 more bones to break, so on we go.” With that, he kneeled in front of Etho and started snapping the fingers on Etho’s right hand. Each wet snap ended with a muted whine and shudder from Etho, who seemed to have zoned out far enough that any reactions seemed mostly involuntary at this point. EvilXisuma seemed quiet for the first few snaps, before he went back to muttering in a just barely audible way. Mumbo could only assume that EvilXisuma was unaware that his mic sensitivity was set too high, and thought he was muttering in such a way as for those of them watching the stream would be unable to hear him. That, or it was an unconscious habit, and didn’t even realize he was doing it. Either way, Mumbo continued hoping he would continue to do so, so that maybe he would let something slip and Doc could post it in chat.

Meanwhile Doc had been listening closely to what EvilX had been saying, but none of it thus far had led to a clue. Most of what he was muttering were curses and the terrible things he planned to do to Etho. Honestly Doc wished he couldn’t hear what EvilX was saying, just so that he wasn’t obligated to continue listening to see if that scum slipped up. But the chance of catching something important was too high, so he went back to diligently listening to the stream, mentally cursing at every suppressed gasp or whine or wet snap from Etho.

EvilXisuma made quick work of Etho’s fingers, and seemingly tired of Etho’s lack of responses decided he needed to kill him. However, because he was feeling particularly vindictive, he gutted Etho, guts spilling over his knees before he disappeared in a flash of red. Mumbo, morbidly curious how the game would register the death, looked down at his communicator. “Ethoslab was slain by EvilXisuma.” He was selfishly grateful that the server messages were that generic. He watched further as Etho poofed back into the chair, though as before his killing blow hadn’t followed him through respawn, but all his previous wounds did. Mumbo looked very carefully at Etho’s wrists and saw that he had managed to get his wrist farther out, and the stake seemed almost completely out of his arm. Unfortunately for Etho, respawn managed to break him out of his trance, and he seemed far more present and aware (and in pain) for the moment. The only positive that Mumbo could see was that EvilXisuma seemed to have either turned off the speakers on his end, or was ignoring them completely. But Mumbo could only hope that either Doc would hear something soon, or the search parties would stumble across the hidden room soon; because he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could watch.

[hermits-that-craft]

Forgetting and Leaving - Part Three

This is the final part to the short story! It’s been a wild ride :D - this part is 4747 words long (perfect planning lol). Once again : Stuck au is owned by the wonderful @target-block! Go check them out!

before i forget again: this is not cannon to ray’s au!

Wels’ dreams weren’t all that different. Sleeping for months will do that to a person, and though Wels’ doesn’t entirely mind the repetitive dreams, the knight has to admit that they’re getting old. Not that he’d ever complain - he came to an agreement with Cub after the first month that they could swap at any time. No, Wels waves goodbye to Cub, letting the man think that his dreams aren’t predictable, letting him leave Wels alone in season six again. He isn’t mad, he offered this to Xisuma, to the hermits. He knows that this power of his is the only thing that he can trust in this empty world, so as he walks back to his base he lets his mind wander to what Cub told him about season seven. How is Iskall going to collect the amount of leaves he’s going to need for the tree? How will Cub make the inside of the pyramid? Are Etho, Beef, xB and Hypno adapting well to the change? Did the other hermits tell them why they moved to season seven?

Cub wouldn’t answer his questions about it, so Wels assumes that he doesn’t know.

He worries for Doc and Scar. Cub didn’t have to say it, but Wels knows that they blame themselves. Of course they do - even though no one blames them. It’s in the twos nature. Wels is glad that Scar chose a place with a lot of hermits, and he’s even more glad that Doc has Bdubs, even if Cub says that they have been fighting. Doc needs someone with him, to remind him that it isn't his fault.

Wels finds his bed, sinking down into the soft bed sheets. He knows that he could spend the month elsewhere, in someone else's base, all he would have to do is leave a sign. He doesn't. Wels lets himself fall into the bed, the same dreams repeating in his head.

---

Evil Xisuma yelps as the gravel blocks update halfway through his walk. They should have updates minutes ago, sending him down into the cave when he first arrived at the edge of the gravel. His body screams and he pulls out a healing potion, taking a swig.

"You alright Ex?" Impulse - Orchid, now - calls down to him.

"Peachy." Ex lies, struggling to stand up. Orchid glides down to him, hitting the floor hard. "You alright?"

"This world has started to glitch too." Orchid, Impulse, whatever, mumbles to himself. "Why can't we ever find a world that isn't glitched?"

"I'm sure you will, eventually." Evil Xisuma says, "It'll be lonely here without you."

"What? We're going to go to the next update, not a different smp. Sorry Ex, you've been with us for years now. You're stuck with us." Grian, Rose, Poultry Man smirks. "We're not leaving you behind."

"I'm not allowed to go to the next update." Ex says plainly. Ren/Daisy offers him a hand, helping him up. Glowing white eyes stare at them from the edge of the cave. "I've told you a million times - I can't go through the update."

"I could help you go through. I won't be able to meet you all in that world, though." Herobrine says. "I can meet you all in the next one though."

"Why? Why can't you meet us in the next world?" Daisy frowns.

"Don't worry about it." Herobrine gives Evil Xisuma a knowing smile, as though he knows exactly why Evil Xisuma can't go to season six. "I'm sure you'll find more people in the update."

Evil Xisuma pales, panic seizing his throat. Xisuma doesn't want him back, that much is clear. Why would Herobrine send him back if he knew that?

---

Scar sits on the top of Larry, acutely aware of Xisuma watching him in the distance. He's tired of being watched, but there isn't much he can do to stop Xisuma from doing that. It'll only make Xisuma think that he's planning something.

So Scar watches the sunset, letting his body relax, letting him look tired from behind but not so tired that it's clear he's faking it. Scar's gotten better at lying, or maybe Xisuma has gotten worse at telling the difference, because as Scar stands and yawns Xisuma doesn't do anything. Scar turns, seeing Xisuma on the top of one of his trees.

Caught red handed.

Scar grins, waving at Xisuma, who flies down to Scar. Xisuma lands, nearly falling off of Larry. Scar helps him up, and he notices how tired Xisuma looks. Scar knows that he can't look better, but it's still worrying.

"Did you come for a reason or are you just admiring my build?" Scar asks playfully, ignoring the invasion of privacy, the bags under Xisuma's eyes.

"Oh, uh." Xisuma struggles to come up with a decent answer, and Scar sighs.

"Long day? I know my side of the jungle is relaxing, you should take some of the magical crystals I made - free of charge. Get some rest, X." Scar feels performative, like he's lying to the admin.

"You look like you need sleep as well." Xisuma dodges the request.

"You have a spare inventory in your eye bags. Go sleep," Scar takes a breath in, the humid night air doing nothing to calm his nerves. "You can't be a good admin if you're going to fall over constantly."

Xisuma blinks, his shoulders slumping. "I didn't think you could notice."

"X, if you say that Doc and I shouldn't blame ourselves for the hippies disappearing, then you shouldn't blame yourself." Scar takes Xisuma's hands in his own. "Let yourself rest, or you'll end up under constant watch as well. Trust me, it isn't fun."

Xisuma frowns, his mouth opening and closing under the mask before he nods, taking off into the skies.

Scar will have to work fast to get out, before Cub arrives to make sure he's asleep.

---

Orchid watches as Daisy and Rose make last minute preparations before they leave. Daisy looks upset at the idea of leaving the netherboard base, though he still doesn't understand how Daisy knew what the netherboard is. Orchid watches as Ex lands with Herobrine, a look of fear on his face as the cryptid tells him about what will happen as they cross the barrier. Orchid doubts that Ex has never gone through an update, but he doesn't blame Herobrine for going over the exact method that Ex would be traveling, given just how panicked the poor man looks. 

Daisy and Rose leave the building, smiling at Orchid, who just sighs.

"Maybe the next world will be nearly abandoned as well so you don't have to go mining, Orchid." Rose suggests, making Orchid smile. 

"Maybe you'll know how to work the farms too!" He suggests to Daisy, who gives Orchid a sad smile.

"I don't want to leave here. I'm not sure why. It feels," Daisy struggles for a word, "like home. Like I've been here before."

"I know." Orchid nods as Ex leads them towards the end portal, still talking to Herobrine about something. The two men seem almost nervous about letting the Hippies know what is being said.

The hippies?

Where did Orchid hear that before? Who told him that? Why does he remember someone calling them that? Why can't he remember what they sounded like? Why can he only think 'green' when he tries to remember them? 

"Orchid?" Daisy asks, his hand on Orchid's back. Orchid clutches his head in his hands, pain blooming behind his eyes, a wither rose against his forehead. "Orchid!"

"Ren?" Orchid - Impulse? - Orchid mumbles. "It hurts."

"Orchid, take some deep breaths in, does anyone have a regen potion?" Grian - Rose - G̷ria̷n̕R̢os̵e calls out. Orchid tries to take some breaths in, tries to breath. It hurts, it hurts so much. Someone strong picks him up and begins to walk, something is pressed against his lips.

Something makes him black out.

---

Stress paces around her base, Bdubs and Cub standing nervously in her door frame. She had truly believed that Scar and Doc were making progress, that they hadn't been bottling up their emotions like - like before. She will have to sit down and talk to the two men once they get them back, but it's clear that isn't the main problem there.

"Hey guys." False says plainly, landing in the skull. Cleo exits Stress' portal, waving at the group. "I guess we're finding the area 77 boys again?"

"We can't lose more people to time travel."

"Where's Xisuma?" Cleo asks, looking around the room. "Please tell me someone got Xisuma."

"He's coming." Cub says. "I told Keralis, we've been trying to get a hold of X for too long."

"Too long?"

"A minute." Bdubs says plainly. "A minute too long - We need to go looking for them now, before they do something stupid."

"Are we late? Shishwammy was asleep." Keralis' voice echoes around the room as he and Xisuma walk towards the group.

"Sorry guys, Scar said that I looked tired." Xisuma rubs the back of his neck, his helmet under his arm. The bags under his eyes go on for seemingly miles. Xisuma looks dead, like a breeze would send him flying.

"He isn't wrong. You need to shleep." Bdubs smiles, though there's clear sadness and guilt in his eyes.

Stress takes a deep breath in, turning to face the wall. She has to come up with a plan, and soon. A hand touches her shoulder gently and she nearly jumps out of her skin, looking up at Cleo. The zombie smiles at Stress, who blinks back tears. A plan. Planning. Stress is smart - surely she can think of something.

"Xisuma, can you find their coordinates?" Stress asks, not looking away from Cleo, who smiles at Stress.

"I can do you one better - I can teleport us there."

---

"Is he going to be alright?" Rose asks Herobrine as they run to the portal, glitching blocks serve as the only things left that proves that they were even there to begin with.

"Of course, Orchid is very resilient." Herobrine says, standing on the edge of the end portal. Rose freezes, trying to calm his breathing. "Are you alright Rose?" 

"Fine. We need to go now." Rose swallows, but he makes no effort to cross into the end. Daisy sighs, pushing Rose and Ex into the portal. Herobrine sends him a slight glare and Daisy smiles brightly.

"It made them go, didn't it?"

Herobrine laughs, pushing Daisy into the portal before jumping in with Orchid.

---

Scar and Doc sit, talking around a campfire. Doc throws some quartz into the fire occasionally, listening to Scar as the short man explains his plans for a mega base.

"I'm worried about it being too much, you know?" Scar says, finally relaxed. No one is watching him from a distance, just Doc. "I mean, it is a giant drill."

"That could work in your favour though," Doc points out helpfully, drawing the drill into the dirt. "You could fit a lot of farms into there, it'd keep you busy, and it would show up well on a map. Very clear and obvious."

"Still, I do like working on a block by block radius. I mean, detailing is easy in the micro, macro detailing can get repetitive." Scar frowns. "I don't want anything to look like I've just copied one side to the other."

"But, on the other hand, you are going for an industrial feel. A side could go undetailed."

"I want a divorce. I can't believe you would say something like that!" Scar throws a marshmallow at Doc, hitting him in the face. Doc gasps, catching the marshmallow before popping it in his mouth.

"Do you think that you could get the marshmallow into my mouth?" Doc asks, smiling at Scar.

"I bet I can!" Scar boasts, throwing a new marshmallow at Doc. Doc opens his mouth, diving to catch the marshmallow. He catches it, landing on his side. The two men burst out laughing, Scar clutching his sides as he looks at Doc. Doc lies on the ground, trying to save face with a victorious look, which only spurs on Scar's laughter.

The laughter doesn't last long, a branch snapping in the distance. Despite the calmness of the Taiga forest so far, Doc steps in front of Scar, his sword out and ready to fight any mobs that come their way. Doc doesn't even notice the protective stance, though Scar does, and Scar rolls his eyes, standing up himself. He turns towards the noise, his sword out.

Two people stand, hidden poorly in the bushes. Blonde and orange hair making them stand out against the dark forest. Scar frowns, poking Doc's side and pointing towards the two women. False and Cleo stand out in the forest like concrete in a rustic build. 

"False, Cleo, you two can come out." Scar yells, rolling his eyes. "You aren't slick, it's obvious that you're here."

The two women jump up, surprise written across their faces. False has her sword out, an angry look in her eyes. Cleo's eyes only tell surprise, though Scar can't tell if she's genuinely surprised or just hiding it well.

"Did you think that we wouldn't notice? Can't have five minutes privacy on the hermitcraft server to talk to a friend." Scar doesn't understand why he's so mad, why he's decided now is the time to say something about it. Cleo and False aren't even the people who normally stalk him and Doc, but Scar can't stop the train of anger that he set off. "We aren't fools, we know that if we go to find them we'll be stuck there. Stop treating us like we're stupid."

"Scar," Doc warns him, sending Scar a confused look. "False and Cleo aren't-"

"They were hiding in the bushes, Doc. They were sent here. It's obvious. The hermits don't trust us." Scar sends False and Cleo a look that pins the two girls down. Ignored Vex magic screams. "Why else would they be here."

"Scar, calm down." Doc commands, his hand on Scar's arm. "It's not their fault."

Scar rips his arm out of Doc's hand and takes some rockets out of his inventory, taking off into the night air without another word. Doc is right, of course, but Xisuma, Bdubs, Stress and Keralis suddenly being in the small clearing that he and Doc had cleared only serves to make Scar more angry.

He spent so much time spawn proofing the area. Xisuma is sure to rip it out now.

---

The sleeping man doesn't stir. Not as four new people arrive on his server. Not as the people cry as they struggle to remember where they are, what the place that seems so familiar is called. Why it is familiar. No, the sleeping knight doesn't stir, not even as the evil version of one of his closest friends leads the three men towards the shopping district. He doesn't stir as the winged man struggles to explain the playful, joking hatred he has towards concorp. He doesn't stir as the man with short brown hair checks a bookstore called I-trade for money. No, the knight doesn't even stir as the werewolf breaks down in front of the stock exchange, unable to know the sense of mourning that he has for the building. It's been four years.

The sleeping man doesn't rouse, not as the lost hippies and the evil clone make their way towards hermitville, their sense screaming that it is necessary, though they don't know why. The knight turns onto his back, but he doesn't move as the lost ones exit the portal. His breathing deepens as they walk towards his castle. He doesn't wake as they find him, sleeping like the dead. He doesn't rouse as they scream. He doesn't feel the werewolf's hands on his shoulders, trying to shake him awake. He doesn't stir as the ex watcher tries to use magic to find his name.

His eyes blink awake as Evil Xisuma asks him to wake up, using his name.

---

Rose jumps back as the sleeping knight throws his arms around Daisy, sobbing into the man's shoulder. Daisy wraps himself into the hug, sobbing onto the knight's shoulder.

"You're back. You're all back, you came back." The knight says, and something clicks in Rose's - No. Something clicks in Grian's mind. Memories come back in waves, washing over Grian. Tears slip down his face as Wels pulls him into a hug, holding him and Impulse and Ren. Wels wipes the tears from Grian's eyes before pulling him into a tight hug, chanting 'you came back' over and over.

It's too good to be true.

Grian is home.

"Where is Tango?" Impulse suddenly gasps. "Zedaph? Where are they? They must be so worried I can't believe I forgot them!"

"You forgot?"

"I, uh," Impulse frowns, racking his brain to find the memory. It's one that he remembered before Wels woke up, but it's buried itself under the newly unlocked memories. "I might have killed a watcher who cursed us on their dying breath."

"IMPULSE!" Wels snaps, looking at said man with a wide grin. "That's the best thing I've ever heard."

"How did the curse break then?" Ren mumbles, wiping his face with the palm of his hand. "They said that we'd never remember."

"Herobrine said that you all would remember once Wels woke up." Evil Xisuma, Ex, says gently. "I guess it's my time to go now."

"No." Ren says, taking Evil Xisuma's hand. "You're stuck with us. You don't get to leave now, you're stuck with us and Xisuma can deal with it. You're a hippie bro now."

"Bring it in Evil X." Wels says, offering a hug to the clone. "I'll message Cub in the morning, then we can all go to the next season. But you have to explain Herobrine to me."

"Oh he's my Dad."

"Impulse you can't just say things like that."

---

Cub lands behind Scar, who sits on the edge of a cliff overlooking the hermiatic sea. Scar clearly notices the man, his body tensing and his shoulders shaking, but he doesn't move to say anything.

"Scar," Cub takes a deep breath in, not knowing where to start. "You should have told us, we could have-"

"Save your breath." Scar mumbles, standing. "You wouldn't have changed anything. You aren't going to change anything. Just, just take me to your base or wherever Xisuma wants me. I want this day to be over."

“Scar,” Cub takes Scar’s hand, stopping the shorter hermit from walking any further. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not trusting you, I’m sorry for treating you and Doc like glass. We shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have. You’re my best friend, I should have trusted you more.”

Scar turns to Cub, and Cub finally sees Scar’s face. Tear’s stain his cheeks and his eyes hold no anger, just tired acceptance. Scar pulls Cub into a hug, and the two vex men hold onto each other until the sun rises, apologising and talking, telling each other how they feel. Cub falls asleep at some point, still holding onto Scar.

“Now, as much as this is a sight for sore eyes.” Joe says, a dog licking Cub’s face until he wakes up. “I’d rather you two didn’t fall asleep where I want to put my lighthouse.”

Scar rubs his eyes, sitting up. Cub checks his communicator, not expecting anything other than a few angry messages from some very worried hermits.

Welsknight: Cub, I need you back ASAP Welsknight: They’re back.

“The hippies have woken up Wels.” Cub mumbles, a wide grin on his face. “Wels has the hippies!”

Scar’s face goes slack before he also grins, taking the communicator from Cub’s hands. Joe and Scar read the messages before Scar jumps up, whooping in joy, falling off the cliff and into the ocean.

“Go get them, Cub.” Joe says, pushing Cub’s back. “Go get the hippies back.”

---

Grian doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. It’s just Cub, and Wels did explain everything to them last night. Ex seems about as nervous as Grian is, not expecting to be accepted as quickly as the Hippies will be. It’s been four years. It’s painful to stay here.

But he wants to. There are so many things that have been left unfinished.

They won’t come back to season 6. Grian never wants to looks at a quartz block again.

"We have to go to the netherhub." Wels says, gently touching Grian's back. "You alright?"

"There's so much we didn't finish." Grian mumbles, pulling his brown sweater closer to him. "This wasn't supposed to happen, we were supposed to come back."

"It's not your fault." Ren says, smiling sadly. "We're going back home now."

"But here is home." 

"No, home is where we are." Impulse pushes Grian's side, ruffling the hippie's hair. "Home is where the hermits are."

"Yeah." Grian smiles wistfully. "I'm going to prank Mumbo and Iskall. I'll fill their bases with flowers and chickens."

"I'll set up a base close to Doc. Keep an eye on him." Ren smiles. "I can't wait to see him again."

"Speak for yourselves, Tango and Zed aren't going to let me set up a base unless they can see it." Despite Impulse's words, he sounds happy, as though he can't wait for that to happen.

"How about you, Ex?" Grian asks, turning to the clone. "What are you going to do?"

"Apologise to Xisuma and then find somewhere to live, I guess." Ex smiles. "Away from flowers, I hate flowers."

"Why do you hate flowers?" Wels asks, smiling quietly.

"He's scared of them."

"Impulse please stop." Ex groans. "You can't keep saying things, I can never leave this place. You've killed me, I'm dead."

"Good."

"Impulse!" Wels protests, pushing the man. "Stop it, he's going to end up looking like a tomato."

"Ha, sucked in Exy!" Grian laughs as they follow Wels through the portal. The heat of the nether doesn't stop the group from joking, Grian and Ren pushing Impulse around while Wels and Evil Xisuma lead the group forward. They all glide down to the giant map, Impulse pushing Grian off the ledge as Cub exits the main portal.

He doesn't look real, not to Grian. Three of the four years that the hippies were missing he didn't remember Cub, and of the first year he was more focused on survival than he was on the hermits that they accidentally left behind. But Cub is here, his beard sporting a few white strands of hair, and his face has worry lines where there was uncreased skin before. He's lost his usual scientist get up, a gaudy pharaoh's outfit adorning his skin, and his more tan than he was before they were lost. But he's here, Cub is taking them home.

Tears roll down Cub's face as he approaches, gently tapping the hippies as though he can't believe that they're back. He steps back, looking over to Wels and Evil Xisuma with a gleeful look on his face before Grian wraps him into a hug. He smells like sand and ocean and grass and home, and tears spring to Grian’s eyes. Impulse and Ren wrap themselves around Cub and Grian, joining in the hug. Wels joins the hug as Impulse pulls Evil Xisuma into the hug as well. 

They’re going home.

---

The hermits stand nervously around spawn, shuffling on their feet. No one was prepared for Cub to leave in the morning, and besides from Joe and Scar, no one knows why he left. Joe called a meeting - Mandatory, emergency : You Must Not Miss This type meeting, though he refuses to say anything about why he called it.

The meeting did give Xisuma, Stress, Bdubs, False and Cleo enough time to apologise to Scar, though Joe had to force it out of them. Scar and Joe stand apart, hopeful smiles written on their faces. The sun ducks behind a cloud as Scar whispers the reason the meeting was called into Doc’s ear, and Doc picks Scar up, swinging him into a hug. No one is told why they are so happy, though Joe’s hopeful grin turns into a large smile.

Cubfan135 joined the server Welsknight joined the server Grian joined the server ImpulseSV joined the server Rendog joined the server EvilXisuma joined the server

---

Mumbo stares at Grian, noticing all the small differences between Past Grian and Current Grian. His hair is longer, his eyes are tired, he looks the same but different, freckles and tans and small cuts litter his face. There’s a burn on his lower hand, hidden under the sleeves of his coat. His coat is brown, and he’s wearing a black t shirt under it. There’s a rose around his wrist.

But the way that he smiles, the way he stands. That’s Grian, that’s his best friend.

Mumbo pulls Grian into a hug, barely able to form words. He notices Iskall, hugging Grian tight as well. They’re safe. They’re back. Grian’s back.

---

Doc puts Scar down, walking over to Ren with an incredulous look on his face. Ren’s hair is long, tied back in a ponytail, with a blue dress shirt on and a daisy around his wrist. There’s stubble on his face and grass stains on his knees.

“I’m not asleep, am I?” Doc asks, breathlessly. He can barely contain the tears that make one of his eyes go blurry. “I better not be dreaming.”

“You aren’t.” Ren punches Doc’s side lightly. “I wouldn’t let you.”

Doc breaks down, crying into Ren’s shoulder as they hug. He knows this isn’t a dream, even if it feels too good to be true. Ren is back, Ren is safe, and he isn’t going to let Ren go until Ren wants out of the hug. He can’t wait to show the werewolf around.

---

“I’m asleep again.” Zedaph mumbles. “I’m asleep and dreaming and I’m going to wake up and Tango will ask if I’m crying.”

“Zed,” Impulse has tears in his eyes. He’s got a black sleeveless shirt on with a brown vest, and a sword lays on his side. He’s a lot more buff, stubble rests where he is normally clean shaven. “Zed I swear, this isn’t a dream.”

“I know,” Tango’s breathless, holding out something to Impulse. “It can’t be a dream, because you have an orchid where you’re meant to have this bracelet.”

Impulse breaks down, falling on his knees as he cries. Zedaph and Tango wrap him into a hug, letting him release the tears that he clearly needed to. The three men hold each other, not letting go. Not even to eat when Joe brings food at lunch, nor when Stress brings soup at dinner. A point of contact remains as they eat and the three men fall asleep at spawn, tangled together. They don’t want to wake up separated.

---

“I’ll leave now.” Evil Xisuma mumbles, shifting uncomfortably as Xisuma watches him. “I know I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“You haven’t.” Wels brushes off Evil Xisuma’s comments. “You’re the one who brought them back. You’re the one who woke me up. You’re the one who broke their curse. Like Grian said: You’re stuck with us now.”

“Curse?” Xisuma says, frowning. “What curse?”

“Impulse killed a Watcher and was cursed to never remember what's important, and the other hippies got the curse as well.” Evil Xisuma mumbles, careful not to let the other hermits hear. The sun sets and though most of the hermits had left, the hippies and their friends had remained at spawn. Scar and Cub also had stayed, Scar apologising to the hippies for more reasons than any had cared to count. “They didn’t even remember their names when I found them.”

“Thank you.” Xisuma says, smiling. “Thank you for taking care of them.”

“It wasn’t just me!” Evil Xisuma raises his hands. “Impulse got adopted by Herobrine!”

“I never said I was adopted!”

“Impulse I will take away your rights to say things again!” Grian smiles as he looks up from the pictures of Mumbo and Iskall’s megabases.

“Yeah man can we have a nice moment.” Ren laughs, watching the stars with Doc. Tango and Zedaph laugh, cooking marshmallows over an open fire.

“Don’t take his speaking rights away, he still hasn’t told us about his family reunion with his Dad.” Tango laughs, picking up a marshmallow and popping it into his mouth. Xisuma smiles, watching the group.

His family is together again.

[melon-wing]

Dread Part 2

[Pirate AU Masterlist] There are trigger warnings in the tags, but they might be a little spoiler-y. Just be warned. Pirates ain’t the nicest people. ~~

Doc sat in his cabin on board behind a massive wooden desk covered in countless maps. He needed to plan their next route, calculate in all of the navy’s and other pirate’s routes and be prepared in case anything went wrong. He loved this part of his pirate life just as much as the fighting and plundering. Nothing was better than seeing one of his well thought out plans come to fruition.

He made a thoughtful noise as he picked up the document one of his spies had leaked to him, containing the planned routes of the navy’s ships, staring at one line in particular on the map. He knew he shouldn’t… But maybe he could plan a course that would accidentally pass their route. He would probably be able to arrange a stop to refill their resources in the same port as they did. And then Doc would be able to see him again.

Rushed steps ran up to his cabin and the door was flung open, hitting the wall behind it hard. Doc didn’t even need to look up to know who it was. There was only one person on board daring enough to make an entrance like that into the Captain’s cabin.

“Ren. I hope you have a good explanation this time. And no, Etho being mean to you doesn’t count.”

When there was no answer Doc finally looked up. He froze at the expression on Ren’s face. It looked pained. He obviously was the bearer of bad news and a face like that couldn’t mean a lot of things.

“Ren? Did something happen to one of our crew?”

Ren shook his head, walking up to the desk, a piece of paper clenched in his hands.

“We got a message from one of our allies. He says word’s going around that Bdubs has Captain Doc’s little pet in his possession.”

Doc frowned at that, turning his head to look at the basket in the corner of his cabin, where two small foxes were resting, both peacefully asleep.

“Well as you can see that is nonsense. Hans and-”

“Doc…” Ren sounded exasperated, like Doc was making this hard for him on purpose. “Not your foxes. Bdubs has captured Lieutenant Grian.”

Doc felt like he couldn’t breathe for a second, his blood running cold, emotions welling up inside him he wasn’t ready to feel yet. So he did the only thing that seemed right at the moment and pushed those thoughts aside, closing his heart off. His gaze darkened as he glared at Ren, eyes practically glowing.

“And why would I care? It’s the navy’s problem. Not mine. They formed him into their little star to look good on posters. They painted a target onto his back, not me. If they can’t take care of their own, good riddance. One dog less to worry about.”

“But it’s Grian…”

Doc stood up, slamming his hands onto the table. Maps went flying everywhere and his foxes awoke, running up to him while making worried sounds.

“He isn’t different from all the others. He is our enemy.”

“Doc… I don’t think Bdubs captured him to get back at the navy. He is boasting about owning your pet. He knows there’s something going on between the two of you. He knows you enough to tell.”

Doc balled his hands into fists, throwing a deadly glare at Ren, who at least had the decency to flinch a little.

“There is nothing going on between me and that Lieutenant. I asked him to join because he is an amazing fighter and we could use him in our crew. And as far as I remember he declined and called me and the whole crew a few choice words. So no, there are no feelings involved and I’m not going to endanger all of your lives for that one idiot.”

Ren looked like he wanted to protest, but when Doc kept glaring at him he nodded, giving him a lazy salute and turning around. When the door was almost closed, Doc could hear his voice drifting over.

“You should know the crew would be willing to fight for him…”

Doc took a few calming breaths. He wouldn’t act out.  He was fine. Everything was alright. Why would he care about Grian? Why should he?

Sure he was intrigued by Grian. He had been the first person to beat him in a fight after all. But that was all there was. The crew was his family. He couldn’t risk their lives, no matter what Ren might think wise. The navy would already be on their way with an armada. They didn’t take kindly to stunts like that. Even Bdubs couldn’t keep a Lieutenant captive for too long. He just hoped that Bdubs wouldn’t decide Grian was more trouble than he was worth.

An image flashed through Doc’s mind, of Grian’s dead body, bloody and broken being thrown over the side of a ship to sink into the depth of the ocean, getting lost in the endless depth…

Doc groaned, letting his head fall onto the desk. What was he supposed to do?

~

Grian didn’t know how much time had passed since they had thrown him into a cell below deck. The only light was coming from a small lantern hanging outside of his cell next to the guard’s post. It must have been five days at least, going by the times they had given him something to eat and how often the person guarding him had changed.

It was annoying to be under surveillance at all times. What did they think he could do? He might be a good soldier, but he couldn’t perform wonders. They were in the middle of the ocean on course god knows were. By the way the boat rocked they were going pretty fast. Jumping over board to flee would be a death sentence for him. His hands and legs were chained together and on top of that his shoulder wound felt like it had become infected. Fleeing would be suicide.

Maybe it would be better, to just jump and swart Bdubs plans. Without any hostage there would be no trap. That way Grian could at least save one last life before he died. Even if it was the life of a stinking pirate. Well… If he died to save a pirate, Doc might not be his worst option. But he’d rather not die at all. Damn! That’s what he got for almost changing his opinion on pirates. He got thrown into their mess.

The door to the cell area opened and the guard sitting in front of his cell jumped up. That could mean only one thing: The captain was honouring them with his presence. Grian slowly stood up from his rack, chains rattling as he did. He tried to stand as straight and proud as he could considering his circumstances.

Bdubs walked up to the cell, sending the guard away with a wave of his hand, looking Grian up and down, a grin appearing on his face.

“You know… I get it. Doc does have a pretty good taste. Pretty being the key word. You really are nice on the eyes, Lieutenant”, Bdubs drawled out the last word mockingly and Grian just glared at him.

“You’d make a fine pirate. If you weren’t his lover, I’d recruit you.”

“I’d rather die than become a damn pirate. You are all animals.”

Bdubs laughed at his angered reply. “Oh poor Doc.” Bdubs eyes lost all trace of humour and he looked coldly at Grian. “He doesn’t know how to properly train a pet, I see. But I don’t like rebellious little kids, navy boy.”

“Yeah I noticed. Your type are little slimy ass-kissers. How’s that snake Keralis?”

A shot rang out. Grian could feel the bullet flying past his face, leaving a tiny bleeding scratch on his cheek. But he didn’t flinch. He just stayed there, trying to look as unimpressed as possible, even though his heart was beating like crazy. Bdubs wouldn’t kill him. He needed him after all.

“Don’t you ever dare to talk about Keralis like that or you’ll regret the day you decided to join the navy.”

Grian shrugged, eyes darkening, holding his chin up high. “There’s not a moment I’m not regretting that day, so don’t worry, you can’t really make it any worse.”

He knew his dismissive attitude was angering Bdubs and that it was possibly the worst idea he could have. But it made him feel like he had at least a sliver of control left in this situation. If he would just bow down and let everything happen to him… He couldn’t bare that thought.

“So tell me, high and mighty Captain Bdubs. What makes you think the navy will let you get away with this? They must be on your trail by now. They’ll sink your ship for what you’ve done. Before this week is over they’ll have you hanging.”

He thought reminding Bdubs of the navy would make him even angrier and maybe in his anger he’d give Grian some information. But no, the anger faded from Bdubs’ face and he chuckled a little.

“Oh. You still think the navy will save you? That is cute, boy. You really trust them. But they won’t. You see… They are just as easily controlled as everybody else. If enough money passes from one hand to another they’ll look for you everywhere but here. And they want Doc’s head just as badly as I do. So if they have to sacrifice you for it, so be it.”

“You are lying!”

“Nobody will come for you, Grian. Nobody will save you. We are just waiting for the main character of this tragedy to arrive and then your life will end.”

Grian balled his hands into fists. He shouldn’t believe anything coming out of Bdubs mouth right now, but he couldn’t help the uncertainty rising inside him. What if it was really true? What if the navy wasn’t coming to save him? Should he really hope on Doc trying to save him? But if Doc came, he would surely die…

“He won’t come. Whatever you heard about me and him? It’s wrong. We are fighting constantly.”

Bdubs just shrugged, still smiling. “Oh, but Grian… Did you forget? That is not what you told Keralis. From what he told me both of you sound like you have one fucking huge crush and are to scared to admit it. I also heard about the two of you sharing a dance in the neutral zone. Really cute. Like in some cheesy romance novel, isn’t it? He might not come running as fast as I hoped, but we can wait a little.”

Bdubs took out a key, opening the door to Grian’s cell. Grian threw a calculating glance towards it. His hands and legs were still chained together, so running probably was a bad idea. And he had no clue where they were at the moment. Could he overpower Bdubs and get his crew to drop him off somewhere? Probably not. And Bdubs wouldn’t make a very cooperative hostage. Damn. He hated being so helpless.

The only thing he could do was stand his ground. He stayed were he was, looking up at Bdubs out of defiant eyes as the Pirate Captain walked up to him. A hand grabbed his chin, forcing his head back.

“So Grian, what do you say about making this a little more… interesting?” Bdubs voice was dark and Grian didn’t like where this was going. No matter what would happen, nothing that guy deemed interesting would mean anything remotely good for Grian.

“You are going to kill me anyway. Don’t think I’m going to play your games just to make this more entertaining.”

Bdubs chuckled and his fingers dug painfully into Grian’s skin, sure to leave marks later. "That wasn't a question, dear. You are in no position to refuse any offer, because depending on your behaviour your death might be more or less painful. So you'd better do what I tell you to. If I tell you to jump, you do. So now-" Grian spat into Bdubs face, silencing him abruptly. For a second Grian got the satisfaction of seeing Bdubs’ surprised face. That guy probably wasn't used to defiance. But after that second of shock was over, Grian almost regretted doing it. Bdubs hand left his chin, to grab him by the neck, slamming him painfully against the wooden wall behind him. The hand was pressing down hard and Grian gasped for breath. He tried to pull the hand off, his fingers uselessly scratching at the arm holding him. Tears were starting to fill his eyes as he kept gasping and struggling. "You really shouldn't make me angry", Bdubs whispered, but Grian could barely hear over the sound of his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. His vision started fading, his legs buckling below him. Just when he thought he was about to pass out, the pressure was gone. Grian fell to the floor, gasping for air and coughing harshly. A boot was pressed under his chin, the threat clear and so Grian slowly raised his head, to look up at Bdubs, staring at him out of teary eyes. The angry face on Bdubs turned into one of pure delight. "Well, well, Grian, who would have thought, you could look even more pretty? So can we talk like civilized people now... pet?" Grian felt disgusted at that title. Nobody, not even Doc, ever talked that degrading to him. He took a deep breath and then smiled. "Kiss my ass, pirate." His head snapped back hard, as Bdubs kicked his chin. All he could hear was a ringing sound in his ears and his whole skull seemed to hurt. Before he could recover, a boot already pressed down painfully on his chest, forcing him to stay on the floor. "You’re really starting to piss me of, navy boy. And you are going to regret it. You only make me want to break you even more, leave nothing but an empty shell for Doc to find. He'll be devastated, knowing that I broke his little toy."

"He won't come...", Grian spat back, glaring at Bdubs, "He isn't dumb enough to fall for the trap of a second rate pirate. You'll never manage to beat him."

Bdubs glared at him and then the foot left as Bdubs walked back to the cell door. Grian dared to heave a sigh of relieve, slowly raising himself into a sitting position. That relief only lasted for a few seconds when Bdubs left the cell and shouted an order through the hallway.

"Prepare the prisoner for a whipping. Make sure everyone can watch."

Grian's heart sank, but he had known that resistance would end in pain for him. He had made his decision and he wouldn't back down now. He was a proud member of the navy.

When two pirates came to get him, he struggled and fought with renewed vigour. He managed to land a few hits and scratches, but a blow to the head left him feeling dizzy and gave them an opportunity to grab him. He was pulled up onto the deck, blinking as the sunlight hit his eyes. He only had a few seconds to take in their surroundings. They were in the middle of the ocean. Not even a bit of land in sight. Fleeing was out of the question then. He was manhandled towards the mast, his face being pressed against the wood. They unchained his hands, but the body holding him against the mast was unrelenting, not letting him get away. And only a few seconds later he was chained to the mast, his arms seemingly hugging the wood, with no room to move. There was the sound of hollering and amused whistles. Grian turned his head to the side, glaring at them. Pirates. They were all the same after all, vile and evil.

Someone was walking up to him, gently caressing his back and then a body was pressing up against him, making him tense in anticipation of what might happen next.

"I hope this makes you change your mind on how to behave while you are our guest, Lieutenant... Oh and please. Do scream. It makes this far more entertaining", Bdubs’ voice growled into his ear, before letting go of him.

Grian tried to brace himself for what was about to come, grinding his teeth together, not ready to give his captors the pleasure of hearing him scream. The first hit still seemed to come out of nowhere, stinging like hell even through the fabric of the shirt Grian was wearing – why they let him keep it on, letting it soften the blows, he didn't understand. Another hit followed, just as strong as the last one, making Grian flinch, his hands trying to grasp something to hold onto, but unable to find anything. He could bear this. This wasn't the first time he had been whipped and it probably wouldn't be the last time.

"I might stop if you beg, boy."

Grian just huffed at that. "My captain hits harder than you."

There was a pause between the hits, as if Bdubs hadn't expected those words, but he didn't say anything about it, only making a thoughtful sound and then continuing. Hit after hit rained upon his back and Grian was almost relieved when he noticed that the strength of the hits seemed to decrease. Bdubs had to be getting tired. Grian had managed to hold in his screams until now, but he was already breathing hard. His whole back felt like it was on fire and he was pretty sure his shirt must have been ruined by now. Finally, the hits stopped and Grian took in a deep breath.

"Your turn, darling."

Grian could hear a delighted giggle and his blood froze as he could hear shuffling.

"Make him beg. Do it for me."

The whip came cracking down again, with so much more strength than all of the hits before. The strength was so unexpected that Grian didn't manage to hold back, a scream tearing itself from his throat.

"Well... You already made our little navy boy sing after one hit. I know why I love you, darling."

Grian was gasping for air, trying to calm down, but Keralis didn’t give him the time. Two more hits followed in quick succession and he whimpered, his legs beginning to shake. “Oh, I’m gonna make you drop down and beg, Lieutenant”, Keralis delighted voice accompanied another hit. There was no real break in between hits. Sure, Bdubs had been unrelenting and hitting hard, just like all the other whippings Grian had been used too. But this? This was on another level.

He could feel tears running down his face and after another few hits his legs finally gave in as he sank to his knees. He could hear laughter all around him, voices cheering Keralis on.

He was pretty sure, there was blood running down his back now. His wrists were also burning from him tugging so much on the bindings.

It just went on and on, hit after hit. It felt like hours passed and the hits still didn’t stop or become softer. Suddenly through the haze of tears a face appeared in front of him. Someone grabbed his chin as another hit struck him.

“That look suits you, Grian. So what do you say. You want more?”

Another hit. Grian shook his head.

“You know. You can make this stop.”

The whip cracked against his back again, he could feel his skin splitting apart.

“Sto… se...”

Bdubs chuckled darkly, caressing the side off his face in mock gentleness as another hit made Grian scream. “What was that, pet?”

“Please… No more. Please stop”, his voice was barely above a whisper, but it seemed to be enough. There was a pause in the whipping, but Grian couldn’t focus properly to listen to Keralis’ movement and didn’t know whether he had stepped away completely or not.

“That is a good pet. It really isn’t that hard to behave.”

Grian averted his eyes in shame, but apparently that was the wrong move, the fingers digging painfully into his skin.

"Look at me, pet. Or we'll need to start all over again."

The whip was back at his back, not hitting, but tracing down his skin, underlining the threat. Grian's eyes practically snapped back to Bdubs, who was grinning in satisfaction, his touch becoming gentle once more.

"I wonder why Doc had so many problems controlling you. It isn't that hard... I guess he was always too soft. If I wouldn't kill him anyways, he should thank me for training you to become so obedient."

Grian was shaking. His heart was beating frantically as Bdubs got closer and suddenly there were lips on his. His shaking only grew stronger. He didn't want this. Images of Doc flashed in front of his mind. Doc laughing at him, Doc teasing him and flirting playfully with him. Determination struck Grian once more and without hesitation he bit down on the tongue entering his mouth. Hard. Bdubs Screamed and pulled back, blood running down the corner of his mouth. Grian grinned weakly at the hateful glare.

"Seems like I might have underestimated you. But we still have a few days together, pet. And believe me after that stunt, I only want to break you even more", Bdubs growled in a threatening voice, wiping the blood from his face. He turned away to his crew. "Leave him tied to the mast. We’ll continue later. Oh, and get rid of his shirt. Make sure it reaches Captain Doc. I bet he'll be happy about such a nice present."

[writing-the-end]

Chapter 1- The Letter

Master Post

A Wizard Hermit tale (AU belongs to @theguardiansofredland )

The Order of Hermits is an illegal guild, hiding out on the fringe islands of Lairyon. But when they get a mysterious letter from the capitol city Milliara, their curiosity gets the better of them- and who wouldn’t take up an opportunity for good money, good adventure, and good opportunity to get their license? 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

“Mail’s here!” Grian cheers, seeing their carrier bird appear over the horizon. He pulls his arcanum spell from Mumbo’s throat, and hops off the newest member of the guild to greet their phoenix friend. He pulls out a few pieces of charcoal, the favorite treat of their carrier phoenix. “Over here Phoebe!” 

“I feel like she needs a better name than that.” Doc mentions, tightening the straps of his robes and helping Iskall bring Mumbo to his feet. Dazed, and thoroughly thrashed by Grian. “Look, she didn’t even answer you. Phoenixes need a cool name- like Ember, or Blaze.” 

The bird swoops low, completely ignoring Grian and his tasty morsels of charred wood. A single feather falls free, caught by Cleo from midair. She holds the luminous material, glinting in sunlight like silver and blinding the whole group. “That’s...that’s not Phoebe. That’s an Alicanto.” 

Everyone’s head snaps, following the bird’s path as it comes to rest on TFC’s arm. Searching for the guildmaster of the Order of Hermits. Scar slips closer, awed by the opalescent white wings of such a noble bird. “I thought alicantos were only found in central Lairyon.” 

“It’s from the capitol.” TFC states, pulling the parchment from the parcel on the bird’s back. The scroll is stamped with a symbol everyone knows, whether the hermit is from the distant poor swamps of east Lairyon or the rich crystal mountains of the southern Fartop Peaks in the Lionheart Mountains. 

The scrawling laurels and crystals of the magistrate’s office. The alicanto pecks at TFC’s metal gloves, searching for food in the form of silver or gold. But every member of the guild has completely forgotten their divine visitor. They’re terrified of the contents within the parchment carried upon it’s back. 

“Oh my word, this is it! We’ve been found!” Mumbo shrieks, feeling his head get dizzy and light. He’s hardly been here for more than a year, and he’s about to get arrested. Years of following the rules, and the one time he goes rogue he’s been caught. 

“The arcane guard must be on their way. This is their letter telling us to surrender.” Cub shakes his head, watching as TFC opens the wax seal. 

“If we surrender, will they be light on us?” Ren questions, biting his lip and adjusting his sunglasses as Xisuma brushes past. He can smell the ozone scent of void on the previous guildmaster, pacing back and forth across the grass of the training field. Muttering something about his brother. 

“I’m not surrendering. I’m not going back to jail!” Doc crosses his arms and turns his nose up and away from the letter in defiance.

The entire guild, twenty something strong, creeps closer to TFC as his eyes scan across the parchment. The entire island is holding their breath, waiting for their guildmaster to tell the guild what’s waiting for them. Etho turns, falling into the shadow of the group and reappearing from TFC’s. “What does it say?” 

“We...it’s a contract.” TFC rereads the words again, and again. Trying to make sure he has everything right. That he read everything correctly. “The magistrate wants us, all of us, to go to a town called…” TFC squints his eyes and tries to read the name, before giving up. “Whatever, somewhere in east Lairyon. There’s been a disturbance that requires our help.” 

“All of us?” Xisuma stops dead, pulling off his mask so he can be sure he’s hearing everything right. “What needs an entire guild to take care of a ‘disturbance’?” 

“Forget that, why would the magistrate request the help of an illegal guild?” Doc waves his metal arm out, catching the attention of the alicanto. It hops free of TFC’s shoulder and swoops onto the puppeteer mage’s arm. Immediately, it begins pecking and pulling on the delicate materials and magic that makes his prosthesis. “Isn’t his entire job to arrest groups like us?” 

“That is kind of suspicious.” Iskall pipes up, tapping a gloved finger on the brown beard of his chin. 

TFC clears his throat, taking a deep breath. He brushes the white braid along his face, collecting himself. He needs to be the man in charge, cool and calm. “The letter isn’t officially from the magistrate’s office. It’s stamped like one, but it’s on personal parchment paper. The magistrate needs us because he can’t send official guilds without raising alarm. He wants this done discreetly, and none of the other council members agree with his actions.” 

“But us?” Cleo can’t help but agree with Doc. They aren’t exactly law-abiding citizens. They’re a mercenary group, flying under the radar of the Council of Lairyon. Doing the work they refuse to do, helping towns too poor to pay the hefty fees legal guilds require. “What do we get out of this? How do we know this isn’t some trap to lure us out of the Ashioll sea?” 

“And how does he know about us?” Mumbo adds, wringing his hands. 

“I...I don’t know, but I guess our reputation precedes us.” TFC nods to the guild hall, rising above the training grounds of the island on a soft hill. Where they can all talk. No one wastes time filing in, hungry for answers and completely ignoring the leftover breakfast still set out on the tables. The alicanto notices the metal cups, and sticks it’s head in search of a treat. And getting it’s golden crested head stuck in the pewter mug. 

“Well? Tell us what it says!” Stress bounces in her seat, short brown hair bouncing along with her.

“This town, Gildara, has been having what the contract only calls a ‘disturbance’ for the past few weeks. The council refuses to send a scout group, but the magistrate here says he can’t sit idly by and let people continue to get hurt. If we take care of the problem plaguing Gildara, we can…” TFC takes a deep breath, the excitement starting to fill his own voice. Calm, he needs to be calm. He’s the guildmaster. “We’ll be given the title of official guild, as well as a hefty sum of gold. We’ll get our magic license.” 

The reaction of the guild is mostly positive. They had given up applying for their license ages ago- before Xisuma gave up his role as guildmaster. They were always rejected, and warned to disband every time. But the Order of Hermits only have each other. Leaving their island, leaving each other, was never an option. They’re a menagerie of people, of criminals and runaways, S-Class mages and academy flunkies. Some people are skeptical of such a proposal, others are ecstatic. All are curious.

“What an opportunity of the lifetime!” Grian whoops, his wings appearing with hardly even a thought. Magic overflowing through the sky angel wizard, held down by his robes by Iskall and Mumbo. “Did it really say for all of us?” 

TFC looks back down at the paper, before letting it fall so everyone else can see. The hermits butt heads trying to peak at the contract before them. Jevin shakes his head, slimy hair squishing and getting stuck against Ren’s wagging tail. “It’s really for us all. The whole damn guild.” 

“I never saw that many zeroes in my life.” Grian whispers, his voice quiet for once. “That could fix all the damage from our battle with those creepy creatures.” 

Mumbo looks back, seeing white bandages peeking out from the sleeveless red hem and blue cloak around his shoulders. They almost didn’t survive that- if it weren’t for Grian and his archangel aura they wouldn’t have made it. His train of thought is disturbed when False pushes herself in, hands planting with challenging eyes towards Tango and Impulse. “Maybe you two can finally fix that hole you blew into my forge.” 

“I quite like the cross breeze our...modification gave.” Tango rests a hand on his chest, a snickering smile appearing across his face. Mirroring emotions fall across Impulse and Zedaph at his side, peeking around his arms. 

“Then move out and make your own modifications!” False shouts, but a coy grin and sharp eyes appear across her features. This won’t be the first time False and team ZIT have gotten into a duel over their accidental explosion, and it likely won’t be the last. “Zedaph already has his own place.” 

“He lives in a barn!” Impulse moans. “I hate how pokey hay is.” 

“You say barn like it’s a bad thing. The sheep are great roommates, they don’t light their pillows on fire.” Zed stares up at Tango. Quips trade across everyone, ideas brought up and shot down as quickly as Scar’s terraforming magic, all what to do with the money offered before them. 

TFC snaps his fingers, the ruby in his other hand glimmering with the magic circle. Lighting up lanterns that hang from the copse of trees and nestle in rock outcroppings of the outdoor guild hall. The fire burns bright, blinding the order even in the midmorning sun. “We should decide whether or not we all want to do this. We’re a guild, we should vote.” TFC raises his right hand. “Anyone oppose this contract? Please answer honestly..” 

The hermits look at each other, but no one’s arm even twitches to put their hand up. The contract is too curious to deny. So much to offer, including an adventure. TFC nods, and lifts his left hand. “All in favor?” 

Robes and sleeves snap up, twenty something hands raised into the air. It’s unanimous. TFC signs the contract, pulling over the alicanto and pulling it’s head free of the empty cup. He opens a hand to offer the divine bird a nugget of gold, which it greedily snaps up while he snaps on the response. “So it is. Alright, hermits. Let’s get packing. We depart for Gildara tomorrow at dawn.”

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

[charmergirl2468]

Hermitcraft Babus #2

Chapter 2: Greetings

Authors note: Sorry if this just sounds like infodumping, but I honestly feel I need to get this info outta the way so I can get to the cute one shot stories! So don’t worry, the next one will 100% be a misadventure instead of this!

Grian expected very little when waking up that morning. Working on Sahara? Of course it was on the agenda. Pulling a prank? Perhaps if the need arises. Area 77 shenanigans with Renbob? He’d have to see if Renbob was up for it.

What he didn’t expect, out of everything, was to find that his dragon build came to life and is now his very moody daughter.

He wasn’t the only one though, looking around the impromptu meeting in front of iTrade. Scara was currently hanging off of Scars arm, swinging about playfully. Iskall was trying to console the little baby that was strangely his dabbing penguin. Cleo talking with a young girl with black tentacles for hair and punk clothes, all signs pointing to the girl being Cleo’s Kraken. Doc was grooming the hair of a boy a little younger than the Kraken, who Grian estimated was Doc’s bush. Ren was happily chatting with a boy who was using sign language. Said child looked to be around eight years old with white hair tied in a long braid and maroon eyes, which Grian guessed was Ren’s dragon skeleton brought to life.

Grian stared at the girl in front of him. Her arms were crossed and she had a scowl, evidence that she’d rather be anywhere but here. “So…” he trailed, trying to think of something to say. He hadn’t expected to have a child at this point in his life, but he just rolled with it. No amount of disbelief will undo the fact his dragon is now in front of him.

“What is it, dad?” The unamused teen asked.

The question snapped Grian back to reality.

“R-Right” he stumbled on his words “Well, I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions, all things considered. Can I at least get your name?”

“You never gave me one,”

“Now that I think about it,” Doc said, lifting his hand away from his bush son, “I didn’t give my bush a proper name before. Is Scara the only one with a name?”

“I think so,” Chimed In Cleo, “To be a little fair, none of could have seen this situation occurring”

“We can fix that right now” Iskall smiled as he rock the now resting baby, “I think I’ll call him Pip”

“That’s adorable!” Stress cooed, standing next to Iskall.

Cleo gave herself a few minutes to think before asking her now daughter “How do you feel about Kasey? Not really extravagant, but it has a K like Kraken…”

“I love it!” The newly named Kasey exclaimed before giving her mom a big hug.

The timid bush spoke up before his dad did “I-I was actually thinking about it before you found me. C-Can my name be Sycamore? I-I-I know its a tree type and I’m more of a bush but I thought that sycamore sounds a little like a name and-“

“It’s perfect” Doc rustled his son’s hair in approval.

Ren’s dog ear twitched as he pondered a name. “How aboooooout… Mephisto? It could work… and we can call you Meph for short!” Meph signed at Ren with a huge smile.

When it came down to Grian, his mind blanked from the stress. Amongst all the other weirdness that was builds turning into kids, it never crossed his mind what he could name his own children. Being married and having kids eventually has of course, but not the finer details such as names. Then, almost as if it was slipped into his head like a letter under a door, he had an idea.

“How do you feel about Ember?” He piped up, “Since you breathe fire and all, it does fit a bit”

The redhead gave an aproving smirk and said “Yeah, sounds really punk… I like it. Surprised someone as bland as you picked it”

Grian half wanted to fight back, but the other half was just confused as to how Ember could’ve ended up so different from himself. Kids grow to have their own minds and feelings of course, but there’s usually some semblance of their parents in there. He could only theorize as to how his daughter had ended up punk.

“Ok, all the kids officially have names,” Xisuma stated, his hands clapping together for emphasis, “Next on the agenda should be finding them a place to stay, seeing as we all have builds we go to-“

“Some builds will have to be put on hold,” Iskall interjected, “We can’t just leave the kids to fend for themselves! Especially a baby like Pip…”

“Plus we have more space than we know what to do with” Stress added, “Pip can stay in me fortress with me, Ember and Scara can live in Hermitville, Kasey can live in Cleo’s pirate ship, the list goes on!”

“Point taken,” Xisuma continued, “Guess this just leaves my task of asking the Void about this…”

“And for me and Scar to check with the Vex” Cub said.

“Sounds about right. Anything else?”

Without much other warning, little Pip let out some babbles before crying.

“Other than feeding Pip, nope” Iskall stated, trying his best to adjust his elytra with one hand.

“Guess that about does it for this impromptu meeting then. Good luck being parents!” With that, Xisuma rocketed away towards his base. Once the admin left, everyone dispersed in to their own groups. Grian and Ember were the only ones left purely because Grian has to look through five separate shulker boxes for his elytra. He had no idea what possessed him to think that was a good idea but he finally had his artificial wings on (after five minutes of searching and putting away the shulkers) and was ready to take off.

“Are you ok to Fly?” He asked, rocket in hand and facing his daughter.

“‘Course I’m ok to fly!” She huffed, spreading her wings for emphasis “The wings aren’t for show!”

She then took to the sky, leaving poor Grian in the dust. After registering that he was being left behind he too started to fly, a single rocket sounding off. Still, he couldn’t help but his a small mischievous smirk on his face.

“Race you back to my base!”

“You’re on!”

[evenstevensranked]

#48: Season 2, Episode 8 - “Head Games”

Twitty becomes the star pitcher of LJH’s baseball team! He’s loving it until Louis starts to put pressure on him to win all the time. Elsewhere, Ren tries to sit next to Bobby Deaver on the bus come hell or high water.

But, I’m pretty sure the one thing everyone remembers from this episode is:

(^ I cannot find the source of that gif for the life of me. So, if it’s yours... I’m sorry. Tell me and I’ll credit you!)

This one opens at the baseball field! Kinda refreshing. And guess who the announcer is?! It’s ARTIE RYAN!!! Played by Jerry Messing from Freaks and Geeks. This marks his first appearance in my countdown! He’s basically this overweight and sort of apathetic character, who dishes out some hilariously dry humor. He’s unfortunately only in five episodes over the course of the series. Then again, maybe that’s a good thing. It’s never fun when a character actor is overused and subsequently goes stale... (*cough* Beans *cough*) 

What a guy!

LJH isn’t doing too hot with the current pitcher they have out on the mound. Louis is there with a radar gun, checking the pitcher’s speed and hanging around Coach Tugnut. When Tugnut asks where he got the radar gun Louis says: “Got it at a police auction. I would’ve got the jaws of life, it just didn’t fit on my bike.” He also rags on the pitcher saying “My grandma can throw a ball of yarn faster.” Idk why, but I kind of like these lines. They’re clearly pre-written and therefore feel a little cheesy as opposed to some gems we get from Shia improvising. But, there aren’t many other stand-out lines in this one. So, they’ll have to suffice. This pitcher really is doing a crap job though, so they switch him out for Twitty. Something that stands out to me is that Twitty is chilling in the dugout prior to this reading some giant book? Like? Is that supposed to be a joke? It just seems out of character. He should be sitting there — not paying attention, listening to music on his headphones and playing air-guitar or something. Not reading freaking War and Peace.

So... I looked closely. That is a fictional book called “The Brains of Men and Women.” What the heck.

Twitty gets up to pitch for the first time that season and rox everyone’s sox off. (Yeah, I said that.) His stellar performance helps lead LJH to a victory! Artie initially introduced him by saying “Alan throws right, bats left, and lives around the corner from Del’s Pizzeria” which is fantastic. Fun fact: Just because I’m weird, I decided to look up Del’s Pizzeria… and it’s a real family owned and operated restaurant that opened in 1973! AND it’s actually in California! Granted, it’s 4 hours outside of Sacramento… so, if we’re thinking within the shows universe - that’d be a bit of a commute every day for a middle schooler lol. BUT STILL!!! I bet one of the writers or someone involved actually lived around there. Little things like that make me happy.  

Ren and Bobby talk in the hallway and it’s extremely awkward. Ren brings up Canada and how their system of government is similar to America’s. I can’t. To be fair, they haven’t become “official” yet. That actually happens in the following episode! But, I honestly think Ren and Bobby are so uncomfortable to watch sometimes because they simply don’t belong togetherrrrr! (I think I’ve made it clear who I prefer for her.) Well.. that, and they’re in Junior High. Everything about middle school relationships is awkward and I gotta admit again that the Ren/Bobby stuff portrays that pretty accurately. Ruby tells Ren to not say a word the next time they talk and let Bobby take control. Kinda awful advice and gives me Poor Unfortunate Souls vibes… but ok. It works, though! Bobby invites Ren to sit next to him on the bus for their upcoming field trip. Something that bothered me: Ren’s so excited about the invitation that she moves a guy away from his locker to scream into it. The only issue is that it’s HER LOCKER. There’s a crapton of other lockers the extra could’ve used!!

Her locker seen in Season 1. 

The “random guy’s” locker she screamed into. 

Twitty’s super happy about pitching so well. He’s the new star player! Tawny asks “Twitty, how does it feel to be the new sports hero? I mean, not that I’m into sports or anything. I actually find it to be a waste of the human spirit.” I relate to that so much, tbh. But, yeah. It’s all fine and dandy until Louis starts telling Twitty that everything’s different now. That the entire school is counting on him to win all of their games. And here we get one of the most iconic lines of the whole series. Louis explains, “You’re the closer, the man! THE BIG POPPA WITH THE BIG MOPPA!!!!!” (the first gif.) I was so unsure of where to rank this episode, solely because of how memorable this line is. But, one great line doesn’t exactly save this episode from being a little flat otherwise. I had my mom watch it with me today for an outside opinion and she was like “Dang, this one is boring.” Sooo. Yeah.

Anyway, Louis really gets inside Twitty’s head and he starts freaking out during their next game. He’s sweating like a pig and can’t think straight. We see Twitty imagine Louis’ face on the baseball he’s holding, repeating the Big Poppa line. It’s honestly so hilarious seeing Shia’s face on a baseball like that I really cannot handle it. It’s something else that made me want to rank this higher.

Twitty took drugs before this game, right? 

Twitty pitches terribly and throws the ball pretty much everywhere but over the plate. He hits the peanut guy and Artie yells, “Oh! Right in the peanuts! That’s gotta hurt.” — A little cringy. But, Artie said it.. so, it’s ok. He also exclaims “Holy cow! Someone get me a hard hat!” when one of Twitty’s awful pitches knocks over the announcement speakers. I love it. LJH loses 29 to 2. Twitty blames Louis. After this, he starts choking at everyday things! Like pouring milk and putting on deodorant. Tawny and Louis go over to Twitty’s and try to snap him out of it. This is the one time ever in all 65 episodes that we get to see Twitty’s room! It’s on-point with his character, too. Kinda stoner-y, sporty, music-y, but also messy like a slightly neater version of Louis’ room. I like that they actually put thought into how it should look. When Tawny and Louis walk in, Twitty is lying on his bed all depressed. Louis tries to motivate him by screaming and clapping “Ya gotta get up! You got a game this afternoon. UP AND AT ‘EM! Up, up, up! Come on! Let’s get UP!” As if that’s gonna help someone who’s depressed. I love Shia so much.

The two try to help Twitty by giving him jellybeans when he thinks positively about pitching, and forcing him to smell Louis’ dirty socks when he has negative thoughts. At one point Tawny refers to the mound as “that stupid hill thingy.” I relate to her so much this episode. Their plan doesn’t work, so they call in Donnie for help. I really like Donnie. They bring him to Twitty’s room blindfolded and when they take it off he asks “…..where’s the surprise party?!” He’s so innocently dumb. It’s great. Once they fill him in on the situation, he recommends that Twitty relaxes at Big Al’s Spa — a place that once helped relieve him of sport-related stress.

Twitty’s room! (Guitars and surfboards not pictured, lol.)

There’s a 5 second bit I always liked where Louis grabs and eats a jellybean from Tawny and she just gives him this side eye. They’re so cute.

Nelson once again starts screwing things up for Ren. He sits next to her on the bus because according to his mother (and his hypochondria) that seat is the safest and he wants to live. He refuses to move. Wow. But, Ruby ain’t having it. She rearranges the ENTIRE BUS SEAT SCHEDULE in an elaborate plan just to ensure that Ren and Bobby sit together. 

What an inconvenience. 

The first time, something goes wrong and Ruby ends up next to Ren. This pisses me off. WHY COULDN’T SHE JUST SWITCH SEATS WITH BOBBY AFTER THAT?! It’s a very obvious and simple solution. But, no.. they just sit there looking at each other across the bus like “ugh, this is so difficult!1! This is like an impossible algebra problem… how will we ever solve it?! We’re worlds apart! :(“ 

So, instead of switching with Bobby.. She makes the entire bus swap seats again. Oh my god. This time Nelson ends up next to Ren, and Ruby ends up next to Bobby! SHE COULD EASILY JUST SWITCH SEATS WITH REN THIS TIME! But, they just helplessly stare at each other again. Seriously, how difficult is this?! Why couldn’t Ruby get it correct?! 

Thankfully, Nelson actually does something right and gets the brilliant idea to switch seats with Bobby! Wow! Genius! You could’ve done that the first time and saved everyone all the trouble. Jesus. So, yeah. Bobby and Ren get to sit together and they both admit that they get nervous around each other. Which is kind of cute I guess. Then Bobby says he “feels like a little kid again” because he used to get carsick when he was young. He proceeds to throw up into a backpack, lol. This guy is seriously not ~all that.~ Idk what Ren sees in him. He is literally so strange. Classically good looking, maybe. But there’s something off about his character. That’s the end of the subplot.

Twitty, Louis, Tawny and Donnie roll up to Big Al’s Spa and discover that it’s run down now and literally just a mud pit. You’re supposed to relax in the mud as if it’s a hot tub. No, thanks. Twitty really does not want to bathe in dirt either. But Louis says “Twitty, Donnie drove 50 miles… I’m spending $15… YOU’RE GETTIN’ IN THE STINKIN’ MUD!” I just love Shia’s shouty voice. Twitty gets in and they leave him there for an hour. He ends up taking a nap and wakes up super relaxed and refreshed… unfortunately, the mud hardened and he’s stuck.

I love Tawny’s outfit. I would wear that, honestly. I live in my Docs. Tawny is just me today. 

When Louis, Tawny and Donnie come back for him.. Twitty freaks out. He starts screaming “I’m trapped! I’m gonna be trapped here forever! And then I’m never gonna get to see my grandchildren!” Uh, Twitty… I’d be worried about not having your own kids first. It’s pretty funny, though. Twitty takes his anger and frustration out at Louis and yells “I swear to Bob, when I get out of here I’m gonna beat you up for a week!” …Excuse me? “I swear to Bob?!” Who is Bob??? Bob Marley? Bob the Builder? Bob Saget?!?! I mean really, “SWEAR TO BOB”?!?!?! Clearly, I’m assuming Disney can’t say “swear to god.” But, wow. They should’ve had him say something else in that case, because “swear to Bob” just sounds stupid.

Obviously, they’re able to dig Twitty out! As soon as he’s free, he starts throwing mud balls at Louis who hides behind a barrel that just so happens to have a target on it. Without noticing, Twitty hits the bullseye every time. In order to focus that anger during games, they put a picture of Louis inside the Catcher’s glove, haha. Hey, it works though! And according to Artie Ryan, “The Twitty-meister is back.”

It ends with Coach Tugnut relaxing at Big Al’s Spa, per Louis’ recommendation… Except he’s stuck in the hardened mud with no one to dig him out. Oops.

The end!

Like I said last week.. Season 2 is just kinda there. Episodes like this and the other Season 2 episodes that I’ve ranked already are examples of what I mean. There’s just a strange amount of slower, more forgettable episodes imo. Although “The big poppa with the big moppa” definitely helps this one stand out in people’s memories, I think. This one is also a Twitty plot basically! Which is kinda cool! But, ya know.. The show is called Even Stevens and he’s not a Stevens. So the episode as a whole feels a little off because of that. And Ren’s subplot is okay here. I definitely relate to wanting to sit next to your crush on the bus. Again, a very realistic Junior High situation. But, I swear to Bob… (whoever he is) the unnecessary seat rearranging gets on my last nerve!!!

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